Humorous Wedding Speech

Decent Essays
Good morning Mr. Skellett and classmates. Today i’m doing my speech on true events from my life in the past year. So you all know me but if you don’t i’m Xzavier and im a pretty loud person but about 2 and a half months ago my dad and his wife had a baby boy so when I go to visit I gotta be quiet. Now last March my mom got married to a wonderful jamaican man named Biggs. No biggs is not his real name it's Chris, Bigs is a cool guy he loves sports, football the most but has 4 kids with 3 different women. My oldest brother Keagan is trying to be a rapper, stupid right but he’s not half bad. Now my older sister wants to be a hairdresser, that’s a little more realistic. Not many of you know about my older sister because i didn't even know till …show more content…
I have only met her once and she looked nothing like me and other then her name i know nothing about her yet. My dad and his wife just recently got back together in december of 2016 after she cheated on him and had another man’s baby. In total they have a whopping 5 kids jheez. I'm the oldest of the bunch from my dad. I don’t like the fact my dad and his wife got back together because she is a rude and many more words i shouldn’t say but my dad is stupid so his choice. Hey good news though my little sister kiearah was born 3 weeks ago and she is the cutest little mixed baby around. So this past summer I entered grade 8 like the rest of you and next year i'm off to highschool like some of you. I chose south because that's the school my mom and dad met at and graduated at so i thought that would be pretty cool if i went there. When im older i want to be a plastic surgeon because it looks interesting even though my mind will change a million times anywho during the summer i went on a nice little camping trip up at my cottage in cochrane i went with one of my best friends …show more content…
A few days later right it's about 8 am and im just waking up to go for my morning pee in the outhouse well i wasn't the only one who had to go pee because soaking into my socks was damien's urine. Yup turns out he got up in the middle of the night thinking he was going outside and he peed at the front door in his sleep so he slept peed and it was a lot to but the worst part is he got it all down his pants and underwear so he was walking around the cabin naked at 3 am looking for boxers. The last night there was pretty cool man we had a nice fire that night and since damien is a nooby he decided to throw his food scraps in the fire well he regretted that a couple hours later when a bear must have smelt the food and wandered right up on the property in the distance. My papa ran to get his gun to shoot poor ol yogi but he was to quick an ran

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