Hi, im bernadette! A little about me.. I love taking photos, making videos,directing, live streaming our high school games I have ADD, or aDHD according to the doctors, generalized anxiety and i'm depressed. I am going to be totally honest here. I do not want to sugar coat what i am.. Depression has been a part of my life since i was a child, so I don’t know myself without it. So before i get into these stories, im going to say that a lot of the names in here are pseudonyms. Before my story i'm going to talk about what depression is. A lot of people think depression is just a mental illness that causes sad or suicidal thoughts. Which, it is not. Depression is actually a chemical imbalance in the brain, i dont know exactly what chemicals are
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The hum of unsuspecting car, thoughts flooding through my head. The roar of the engine goes past me, as I lifted my head i noticed the road was near. I stop and took a breath, trying to calm down. I slowly walked up the curve, while walking i started going slower and slower until i got to the top. At the top all i could think of was why i was having these feelings and that they needed to go away. . Now, shortly after I got home, my dad started yelling at me about how dirty my room was and how I wasn’t the child he needed me to be. Within 15 minutes of being home I had sudden feelings of being overwhelmed. I remember sitting on the floor of my room, with a pile of clothes around me, crying. The room was dimly lit where i was sitting trying to hang up my clothes, all i could hear was the hard slams when my dad walked through any door. After a few minutes of no loud noises i started to calm down and work at a reasonable pace. I picked up my phone and texted my best friend and slowly typed out that i loved her and that i was sorry. She knew instantly that was something was wrong and called me. I stared at the phone blankly and told myself i needed to answer it. My voice was shaky and my hands were shakier, i picked up the phone and backed into my closet. “Hello?” i said quietly, a moment passes and i hear two anxious voices over the phone. “Bernadette are you okay? What's going on!” I stayed quiet and the questions kept coming. “Please don't hurt yourself” I heard katie say and i broke down crying. Through the phone
The hum of unsuspecting car, thoughts flooding through my head. The roar of the engine goes past me, as I lifted my head i noticed the road was near. I stop and took a breath, trying to calm down. I slowly walked up the curve, while walking i started going slower and slower until i got to the top. At the top all i could think of was why i was having these feelings and that they needed to go away. . Now, shortly after I got home, my dad started yelling at me about how dirty my room was and how I wasn’t the child he needed me to be. Within 15 minutes of being home I had sudden feelings of being overwhelmed. I remember sitting on the floor of my room, with a pile of clothes around me, crying. The room was dimly lit where i was sitting trying to hang up my clothes, all i could hear was the hard slams when my dad walked through any door. After a few minutes of no loud noises i started to calm down and work at a reasonable pace. I picked up my phone and texted my best friend and slowly typed out that i loved her and that i was sorry. She knew instantly that was something was wrong and called me. I stared at the phone blankly and told myself i needed to answer it. My voice was shaky and my hands were shakier, i picked up the phone and backed into my closet. “Hello?” i said quietly, a moment passes and i hear two anxious voices over the phone. “Bernadette are you okay? What's going on!” I stayed quiet and the questions kept coming. “Please don't hurt yourself” I heard katie say and i broke down crying. Through the phone