"You are a loser and someone not worth investing in!" In review at that Xmas of 2014, I realize this disagreeable language saved my life. Spoken by a person whom I considered a friend for numerous years, her vituperative rebuff instantaneously caused a massive and gaping sinkhole to metaphorically materialize in the very center of my life. In the year to come I was stripped bare of every recognizable aspect of my personality. The moment these ten verbal word bullets were released I commenced a journey to hell and back. I never knew how grateful I would be for her hurtful words. Twelve months later I am still incredibly grateful, standing strong on my own feet; I stand fully renewed. She forced me to hang tough in clarity and faith even though
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Tears flowed, uncontrollably and unexpectedly for prolonged periods as my world plunged into nothingness. The negative voices in my head unremittingly reinforced her point. Grappling to hold on to my pseudo reality only made it crumbled further. Day after day, month after month sank deeper into an abyss of self-pity and anger. Observing my life from a distance, as it folded into itself, I remained rooted in place unable to access any old modes of survival. My external environment mirrored the internal pandemonium at my center. Our family finances, household appliances and fixtures fell apart at the same time and we had no health care, which worsened the situation. Writing used to be a salve to all ills but became an elusive memory. Eventually, I released my written words to the wind accepting the possibility I might never write again. In early summer our bank account was breached causing our meager finances to flow to a reprehensible group that targeted online customers. My husband and I fought to stop the deluge of crises even as our child suffered various health issues. To top it all the difficult job market made life a desperate minefield after a sudden layoff. By the fall of 2015 the nagging health issue served as the final straw. In addition, I …show more content…
Sometimes it will knock directly at our doors and intrude upon our lives. Life is truly ephemeral and out of our control. Yet, the world is still a beautiful place! The sun will rise again tomorrow with or without us. Immediately, after one so-called friend knocked me out cold with her cutting words over a year ago, an authentic friend picked me up, doctored my wounds and put me back on my feet. This true friend provided the much needed lifeline to keep my head above water. Her kindness allowed my family and I to claw our way back inch by inch until we made it to the end of 2015. We have never met her in person, but she let me know I was no “loser”. My friendship is valued by her. She showed me, through her actions that I am a good investment and needed in her life. All in all, the challenges and obstacles of the last year have strengthened my foundation. Today, I appreciate even the smallest speck of dust or light, knowing that it all matters in the scheme of things. Life is not something to be controlled it must be released and allowed to flow with full trust and faith. It is best to live amidst all the beauty, “sham” and “drudgery” enjoying all with consistent daily gratitude. I am finally finding inner peace and most of all my love of writing has returned. A Happy New Year in positivity, love and
Tears flowed, uncontrollably and unexpectedly for prolonged periods as my world plunged into nothingness. The negative voices in my head unremittingly reinforced her point. Grappling to hold on to my pseudo reality only made it crumbled further. Day after day, month after month sank deeper into an abyss of self-pity and anger. Observing my life from a distance, as it folded into itself, I remained rooted in place unable to access any old modes of survival. My external environment mirrored the internal pandemonium at my center. Our family finances, household appliances and fixtures fell apart at the same time and we had no health care, which worsened the situation. Writing used to be a salve to all ills but became an elusive memory. Eventually, I released my written words to the wind accepting the possibility I might never write again. In early summer our bank account was breached causing our meager finances to flow to a reprehensible group that targeted online customers. My husband and I fought to stop the deluge of crises even as our child suffered various health issues. To top it all the difficult job market made life a desperate minefield after a sudden layoff. By the fall of 2015 the nagging health issue served as the final straw. In addition, I …show more content…
Sometimes it will knock directly at our doors and intrude upon our lives. Life is truly ephemeral and out of our control. Yet, the world is still a beautiful place! The sun will rise again tomorrow with or without us. Immediately, after one so-called friend knocked me out cold with her cutting words over a year ago, an authentic friend picked me up, doctored my wounds and put me back on my feet. This true friend provided the much needed lifeline to keep my head above water. Her kindness allowed my family and I to claw our way back inch by inch until we made it to the end of 2015. We have never met her in person, but she let me know I was no “loser”. My friendship is valued by her. She showed me, through her actions that I am a good investment and needed in her life. All in all, the challenges and obstacles of the last year have strengthened my foundation. Today, I appreciate even the smallest speck of dust or light, knowing that it all matters in the scheme of things. Life is not something to be controlled it must be released and allowed to flow with full trust and faith. It is best to live amidst all the beauty, “sham” and “drudgery” enjoying all with consistent daily gratitude. I am finally finding inner peace and most of all my love of writing has returned. A Happy New Year in positivity, love and