Reflective Essay: The Writing Of Myself As A Writer

When I stare at a blank word document my mind becomes scattered. Writing has always been something that has never came easy to me. I always felt like the way I worded things, or explained myself in a paper wasn 't good enough compared to all the other people in my classes. Then, just recently I figured out that if I write for myself and things that I feel strongly about then when I am staring at a blank word document the words will come easy to me, and will start to flow. This is why I wrote, and why I write. I wrote because I had to, because the teacher would give me a topic that I didn 't care about, and expected me to pull something out that was great. I wrote because I wanted to get an A on the paper. I always had to put in a little more …show more content…
I thought I had to write, and if I did the bare minimum it would get me through. Even though this statement was true in high school, it’s not so much true for me in college. Now, I write for me. If I didn 't write for me I wouldn 't sit down and do it. Now, I want more than just an A, I want someone to look at my papers and say, “wow, I wish mine sounded like that.” I write because of how it makes me feel. Writing all of my feelings down on a blank document gives me a sense of relief that I can’t get if I am writing for someone other than myself. I write because I want to get better. Writing helps me not only wash my feelings away but also it helps me improve me. I write because my life wouldn 't be the same if I didn’t. I write because my mind would explode if I didn’t. I write because I want to prove myself to everyone. I write because it helps me grow as a person. I write because my life depends on it. I write because it’s therapy. I write because it helps me recover lost memories that I may have repressed but need to flush out. I write because of satisfaction. I write for me. I write because of me. I write because the only person that really cares is me. I write because my stories matter to me. I write because my life depends on it. I write because if I didn’t, I would go insane. I write because of my past relationships. I write because of all the emotions and thoughts that run through …show more content…
Thinking about the whole concept “writing for me” is so cliche I feel like, but it’s the way that helps me feel like my work is important, and worth reading. My writing experience before this class was very stressful. I wasn 't and I am still not a strong writer when it comes to academics. I also hate writing for a class. Although, I feel like I have grown when it comes to my writing since high school. In high school, I was so embarrassed of hearing criticism about my papers, or having to read them out loud. Whereas now I am ready for it, and I want to hear what people have to think about my writing. In a few short months I feel like I have a better understanding of myself as a writer, and what I need to improve on all because of this class. Without this class, I wouldn 't have known about all the different types of genres and styles of writing. It really broadened my horizons and gave me a better appreciation of writing. I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me to improve on my writing skills, but for now I am going to stick with writing for myself and leaving everything I have on the word