Reflective Essay: How Could She Be So Important To Me

Oct 14 “How could she be so mean to me? Today was the first day I worked with her but she kept complaining to other people about me and talking to me with her impolite language. Her attitude and words toward me hurt me so badly that made me burst into tears. Homesickness and unfamiliarity since I moved here did not make me emotional like the way she did. I hid my vulnerable feelings and endured her mean attitude, but as soon as I got home, it exploded…If I could have a chance to fight back to her, I would tell her in front of everyone how bad and rude she is when she bullies a newcomer like me…”
Oct 20 “Tomorrow I have to work with her again. Thinking of that makes me really stressful. Should I be nice with her during the work or should I fight her back if she keeps bullying me? It is …show more content…
I admit that there is an anger in me towards her and this anger creates many unreal stories in my mind that makes me come up with many plans to fight her back. Mindfulness helps me realize that they are just unreal stories and I should take a “stop moment” to review multiple choices of actions and interpretation available and explain myself why I choose a particular choice of action (Fels, 2005). I chose to be calm and nice to her instead of fighting back even before the talk with the boss. I believe in her “basic goodness” (Eppert, 2015) that she doesn’t mean to hurt me but she has to do that to protect her ego “I” (Ricard, 2003). “Anger blocks communication and create suffering” (Nhat Hanh, 1996). I am aware that she produces destructive energy through irritation towards me and I should be responsible for converting it into constructive energy by compassion, understanding and love, because I am luckier than her that I know mindfulness. I am happy with my choice that being compassionate to her and I am grateful for having a talk with my boss that enables me to understand her