How Abortion Changed My Life

In seventh grade, I tripped in the dead middle of the stage in front of my entire class on the way to receive an academic award. Mortified, I held it together, threw up a peace sign to the speechless crowd, shook my principals hand, and exited stage, laughing (nervously... but still). In eighth grade, I squeezed my mom’s hand through every appointment after she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer, never allowing myself to fall apart. In ninth grade, the girl that sat next to me in Spanish was raped. I pitched $200 to help her pay for an abortion. In tenth grade, the head cook at my first job had the audacity to smack my butt while I was helping in the kitchen. I told him to “Go to hell”. In eleventh grade, the first boy I ever loved told me he wanted nothing to do with …show more content…
While everyone around me cared more and tried harder, I could not escape a metaphorical bubble of existence. My life seemed to be made up of moments. The only thing I could account for were brief memories of love, hate, sadness, empathy, integrity, and desperation. I spent months of my life daydreaming about what I was missing out on - waiting for the morning I would wake up with the motivation to feel passionate about anything. I wasn’t depressed, I was existing... floating through life. I felt hopeless and confused why everyone else seemed to be evolving and accomplishing while I was trapped in the whirlwind of emotions and expectations swallowing me whole. It was like I was on a highway, crouched in the middle of a median, knees pressed to my chest, watching as all the cars flew by- each one sending me into a frenzy. I was drowning. Then, the summer before my senior year, my best friend was killed in a car accident on the way home from my house, and, suddenly, I cared. I cared a lot. The summer before my senior year, I began to find myself. Feeling more lost than ever before, I started to analyze who I was, who I wanted to be,