Personal Narrative-Awkwardness In Middle School

I walked through the hallways of my middle school, listening to the garbled conversations around me. I wondered why people were only “together” one day, what this new term, gay, meant, and why OneDirection was so important. Awkward silences, gasps of disbelief, and grudging explanations often followed my inevitable queries of “What does that mean?” I had difficulty understanding how people interacted at first, and found myself listening from the outside to learn different things for later use. I still struggle with the fact that socialization is just as important as homework, for it has only been in the last two years I have built up the confidence to feel accepted, and put school to the side so that I don’t become a hermit. Obviously I am not able to learn everything there is to know in cultural norms, or in scientific facts, but transitioning from isolation into a building of strict rules, capricious values, and loud judgment was quite the ordeal. Homeschool was, for me, a time self-regulated work and reading or playing in silence. So …show more content…
One was that mom and I rarely endeavored to leave the house for social reasons. I would teach myself with an online curriculum, and occasionally join my two friends on a “playdate,” but that is nothing compared to the continual crowds and communication seen in school, collectively. The sheer number of people nearby intimidated me at first, and sometimes still does, indicating how unprepared I was for public school in general. I had to train myself to navigate the halls, and engage in polite conversation with strangers when necessary. My difficulty with that demonstrated itself to me almost daily, with incessant nervousness and what I’m sure is a terrified expression. It has taken me a few years to adjust and assume a semblance of relaxation in the hallways, though interacting with people is rather baffling at times, in regards to popular