Traditional Hmong women are to be seen and not heard. In consonance with such tradition, a good woman is strong in her silence and she does not question authority. Mai Kao Thao was brought up in this belief, which had been strongly ingrained into her mother, as well. A good woman was to be docile, so as to not create trouble. As long as she did not object to men and their will, she was a good girl; perfect in her silence. Thao was told that silence was key in being a good woman, and that her life should consist of utter devotion to others’ needs. It wasn’t until Thao grew older that she felt something was missing in her life. In all her silence, she was unable to cultivate that vital, expressive part of herself and embrace an identity.
