In broad terms, proposals are persuasive pieces of professional writing that seek to sell an idea or project to someone in a position of authority. In this case, Heidi Friedlein is attempting to persuade a farm manager (Paul Smith) to allow her to study Porcine Reproductive and Respiratory Syndrome (PRRS) in swine.
Positives:
Heidi includes the necessary pieces of information (purpose, problem, objective(s), methods, schedule/costs, conclusion) and organizes them effectively. The sections contain cohesive information, and her writing is concise. Her tone conveys her concern and capability without sounding condescending or bombastic. Even though I do not work for the farm or possess extensive knowledge of swine production, I feel like I have …show more content…
Perhaps if I was Paul I would better understand her intentions, but as an outside entity, I don’t understand her reasoning behind her plan of action. For example, what is her thought process behind studying “fostering procedures and general sanitation of the workers…”? Her third paragraph in this section was the vaguest. I would have liked to have seen the name of an “extension agent” she was going to contact and the name of the universities she had in mind. Justification is a major element that needs to be present in every aspect of a proposal. Lastly, her “Schedule and Costs” section was ineffective. As a visual learner, I like to see events laid out chronologically. I’m having a hard time understanding her proposed timeline because it is conveyed through a paragraph rather than a graphic. If I was Paul, I would have a hard time approving this proposal without a clear monetary cost. If the only cost is Heidi’s time, then she needs to include how much of her time it would take to complete. Even though Heidi is presumably already on the payroll, she may have other tasks that require the attention she will be devoting to this new project. Costs are often perceived as the quickest way to proposal rejection, but failing to properly highlight them in detail is unethical.
If I were Paul Smith, I would probably request a second proposal that gives more detail
Positives:
Heidi includes the necessary pieces of information (purpose, problem, objective(s), methods, schedule/costs, conclusion) and organizes them effectively. The sections contain cohesive information, and her writing is concise. Her tone conveys her concern and capability without sounding condescending or bombastic. Even though I do not work for the farm or possess extensive knowledge of swine production, I feel like I have …show more content…
Perhaps if I was Paul I would better understand her intentions, but as an outside entity, I don’t understand her reasoning behind her plan of action. For example, what is her thought process behind studying “fostering procedures and general sanitation of the workers…”? Her third paragraph in this section was the vaguest. I would have liked to have seen the name of an “extension agent” she was going to contact and the name of the universities she had in mind. Justification is a major element that needs to be present in every aspect of a proposal. Lastly, her “Schedule and Costs” section was ineffective. As a visual learner, I like to see events laid out chronologically. I’m having a hard time understanding her proposed timeline because it is conveyed through a paragraph rather than a graphic. If I was Paul, I would have a hard time approving this proposal without a clear monetary cost. If the only cost is Heidi’s time, then she needs to include how much of her time it would take to complete. Even though Heidi is presumably already on the payroll, she may have other tasks that require the attention she will be devoting to this new project. Costs are often perceived as the quickest way to proposal rejection, but failing to properly highlight them in detail is unethical.
If I were Paul Smith, I would probably request a second proposal that gives more detail