The Importance Of Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries and How to Reset Them

Last week we discussed what unhealthy boundaries are and how we can be violated by them, but what are healthy boundaries?

Someone with healthy boundaries is able to identify how they feel, what they think and chooses how they will react or behave in any given situation; taking full responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and behavior. They do not blame others for what they think, feel, or how they behave because, they are able to stand up for themselves calmly and intelligently, without using intimation or manipulation.

A person with healthy boundaries does not allow others to control how they think, feel, or behave, nor do they try to control others through manipulation, guilt, blame, or by …show more content…
You can do this in a respectful manner without guilting or blaming, but by simply stating that you are feeling hurt and asking that the behavior not be repeated. If the person who caused the hurt decides to keep hurting you, healthy boundaries will allow you to walk away from them.

While boundaries should not vacillate wildly according to what is happening around you, it’s important that we have the ability to adapt and change when it is needed and appropriate. Boundaries are there to protect us but, they can also imprison us if they become too inflexible. Healthy boundaries include awareness of your emotions, the situation you are facing, and your ability to set or relax boundaries in response to your needs.

It’s also important to remember that what is healthy for someone else may not be healthy for you. Everyone has to determine what feels "right" for themselves. Some people have very thin, permeable boundaries and are comfortable with this. Others require more rigid boundaries to feel safe and comfortable. Define for yourself where your boundaries are and what feels comfortable for you and stick up for your right to feel that