Growing up I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, this often times would lead me to instead not say anything. I always thought this was better than saying the wrong thing, up until I was 16 years old and found out the opposite to be true.
As a 16 year old girl as you could imagine I wasn’t the happiest person in the world, there were a lot of days when depression clouded my thoughts and that ended up being the only thing that would even be a thought in my head. This would be one of those days, I had just gotten close to my new best friend, Megan. I remember being at school that day and there was nothing to learn for me, my head was clouded with the dark thoughts that depression had planted like a seed ever growing larger and larger. I had sent Megan a text letting her know …show more content…
I should have been feeling extremely unhappy, since I had just explained to my best friend that I wanted to die. Although my day had been filled with dread and depression, suddenly when I was looking at her I just felt extreme content, I felt safe. I hadn’t felt this way since before the depression had crippled my life.
As I looked up at Megan and noticed all her features in a way I had never seen them before, I knew I had to fix her sadness. I just couldn’t think of how, I had said everything I possibly could have, I had tried doing everything I could think of to make her laugh. As we climbed in the car and I looked down at her mascara that had smeared all over my shirt, but I didn’t care. This shirt was the last of my worries, Megan’s happiness being my first.
When I got home I remember being mad at myself for not knowing how to fix what I messed up, it took me days to realize why I couldn’t find the right thing to say. She was my happiness, and I wanted to be hers. I suddenly realized why I couldn’t say the right thing, it’s because I didn’t even know what I was feeling. It clicked finally, I loved
As a 16 year old girl as you could imagine I wasn’t the happiest person in the world, there were a lot of days when depression clouded my thoughts and that ended up being the only thing that would even be a thought in my head. This would be one of those days, I had just gotten close to my new best friend, Megan. I remember being at school that day and there was nothing to learn for me, my head was clouded with the dark thoughts that depression had planted like a seed ever growing larger and larger. I had sent Megan a text letting her know …show more content…
I should have been feeling extremely unhappy, since I had just explained to my best friend that I wanted to die. Although my day had been filled with dread and depression, suddenly when I was looking at her I just felt extreme content, I felt safe. I hadn’t felt this way since before the depression had crippled my life.
As I looked up at Megan and noticed all her features in a way I had never seen them before, I knew I had to fix her sadness. I just couldn’t think of how, I had said everything I possibly could have, I had tried doing everything I could think of to make her laugh. As we climbed in the car and I looked down at her mascara that had smeared all over my shirt, but I didn’t care. This shirt was the last of my worries, Megan’s happiness being my first.
When I got home I remember being mad at myself for not knowing how to fix what I messed up, it took me days to realize why I couldn’t find the right thing to say. She was my happiness, and I wanted to be hers. I suddenly realized why I couldn’t say the right thing, it’s because I didn’t even know what I was feeling. It clicked finally, I loved