My return to the world of employment as a graphic designer has been a long, nine-year quest.
In 2003, I was working as the Creative Director for a start-up company in web technology, which was on the verge of being acquired. Those were exciting times, but very long hours, and unpredictable weekends.
That year, at the age of 37, I unexpectedly became pregnant. It was an easy pregnancy, with no complications. Although born a month early, our son was robust and healthy. (I'm convinced his birth date was miscued by the OBGYN. We weren't exactly sure of the conception date.)
At the time, I was married to a consultant, who was a consummate road warrior. He was also in the Army/National Guard reserves. He was home only 2-3 weekend out of the month. …show more content…
With a profound hearing loss since the age of five, I'd beat the odds, putting myself through college and cultivating my career over the years. It was perhaps a modest picture of success, but it was all mine. "Taking a break" could mean a death sentence for a career in technology, where things changed constantly. Perhaps I sound dramatic. But it turns out I was right, but mostly because the break ended up being much longer than expected. I'll get to all the reasons why, in the following. But for now, I'll note that the loss of my career was the beginning of was was to become a 10-yr period of cumulative …show more content…
Mom held on for another 3 years, surviving a radical liver resection, nursing home, and several bouts of chemo. She was a real trooper and handled her last days with humor and profound grace. When she passed, I was numb with grief.
By this time, I realized they don't ALWAYS come in threes...sometimes it's four. Or maybe five...or more. Within months after I dealt with my parents estate, I found myself going through a divorce.
Facing a life of raising my son, with no job and no income of my own, I returned to my therapist, whom I'd first started seeing about five years earlier. During our first session, she asked me what I was seeing her for, I didn't know how to answer her. When I tried to explain, it sounded pathetic at the time. All I could thing to say was "There's no room in my life for...for me." In retrospect, I realize that I really couldn't have said it any better. It was the truth, and it was a very real problem.
I discovered I was suffering from cumulative grief - also known as "grief overload". The experience of suffering a second loss before one has grieved the initial loss. And I had more than two cumulative losses - I was well passed the point of things that happen in
In 2003, I was working as the Creative Director for a start-up company in web technology, which was on the verge of being acquired. Those were exciting times, but very long hours, and unpredictable weekends.
That year, at the age of 37, I unexpectedly became pregnant. It was an easy pregnancy, with no complications. Although born a month early, our son was robust and healthy. (I'm convinced his birth date was miscued by the OBGYN. We weren't exactly sure of the conception date.)
At the time, I was married to a consultant, who was a consummate road warrior. He was also in the Army/National Guard reserves. He was home only 2-3 weekend out of the month. …show more content…
With a profound hearing loss since the age of five, I'd beat the odds, putting myself through college and cultivating my career over the years. It was perhaps a modest picture of success, but it was all mine. "Taking a break" could mean a death sentence for a career in technology, where things changed constantly. Perhaps I sound dramatic. But it turns out I was right, but mostly because the break ended up being much longer than expected. I'll get to all the reasons why, in the following. But for now, I'll note that the loss of my career was the beginning of was was to become a 10-yr period of cumulative …show more content…
Mom held on for another 3 years, surviving a radical liver resection, nursing home, and several bouts of chemo. She was a real trooper and handled her last days with humor and profound grace. When she passed, I was numb with grief.
By this time, I realized they don't ALWAYS come in threes...sometimes it's four. Or maybe five...or more. Within months after I dealt with my parents estate, I found myself going through a divorce.
Facing a life of raising my son, with no job and no income of my own, I returned to my therapist, whom I'd first started seeing about five years earlier. During our first session, she asked me what I was seeing her for, I didn't know how to answer her. When I tried to explain, it sounded pathetic at the time. All I could thing to say was "There's no room in my life for...for me." In retrospect, I realize that I really couldn't have said it any better. It was the truth, and it was a very real problem.
I discovered I was suffering from cumulative grief - also known as "grief overload". The experience of suffering a second loss before one has grieved the initial loss. And I had more than two cumulative losses - I was well passed the point of things that happen in