“If you make yourself into a doormat, people will wipe their feet on you,” accommodated from Belizean Proverb. People who usually sacrifice their interests for others at all time, are often either limiting their own success by spending most of their time focusing on others, they never get their own work done, or they are abused by selfish people who view them as people who they can step on and take advantage of. These altruistic people can become the least successful when they cannot overcome being used by acquisitive people. In order to avoid being taken advantage of, altruists need to change their perspectives on giving, that they do not need sacrifice themselves for others at all time, so that they will not be in a disadvantage position.
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Most givers believe that they need to help everyone, even if they need to sacrifice their own interests and profits. Moreover, when they are unable to perform that, they will think that they are selfish. This kind of thinking usually turns givers into doormats. In Give and Take, Grant states, “Becoming a doormat is the giver’s worst nightmare, and I’ll make the case that an otherish approach enables givers to escape the trap of being too trusting by becoming flexible and adaptable in their reciprocity styles” (189). Accordingly, givers may avoid becoming doormats by changing their perspectives on giving that they do not need to help everyone at all time, especially they do not need to sacrifice most of their time for takers who want to take advantage of them. Hence, they need to adjust their reciprocity styles. For instance, in Give and Take, Grant mentions a woman named Lillian Bauer. Lillian Bauer is a real giver, she is very generous and nice, but the problem was that she did not know the limit of giving. She often sacrificed her times and her interests in order to help other people that she became a pushover. Having been taking advantage of, Lillian Bauer learnt to be more careful when she is dealing with takers. In addition, she
Most givers believe that they need to help everyone, even if they need to sacrifice their own interests and profits. Moreover, when they are unable to perform that, they will think that they are selfish. This kind of thinking usually turns givers into doormats. In Give and Take, Grant states, “Becoming a doormat is the giver’s worst nightmare, and I’ll make the case that an otherish approach enables givers to escape the trap of being too trusting by becoming flexible and adaptable in their reciprocity styles” (189). Accordingly, givers may avoid becoming doormats by changing their perspectives on giving that they do not need to help everyone at all time, especially they do not need to sacrifice most of their time for takers who want to take advantage of them. Hence, they need to adjust their reciprocity styles. For instance, in Give and Take, Grant mentions a woman named Lillian Bauer. Lillian Bauer is a real giver, she is very generous and nice, but the problem was that she did not know the limit of giving. She often sacrificed her times and her interests in order to help other people that she became a pushover. Having been taking advantage of, Lillian Bauer learnt to be more careful when she is dealing with takers. In addition, she