I am not perfect and my writing is no different. In my 1102 course I learned that I am not the best judge of my writing. When reading my essays in my head I know what I mean to say therefore, I skim over typos and grammatical errors. In addition to grammatical errors, I struggle with developing a thesis.
First Draft:
American entrepreneur, Jim Rohn, says that people are “average of the five people [they] spend the most time with.” Throughout Baldwin’s novel Giovanni’s Room, he conveys the ideas of self-discovery and identity within each of the characters that David encounters. Baldwin conveys the inner thoughts and morals of David through each of the characters he encounters.
A problem that I had with this draft was saying “each of the characters.” …show more content…
Throughout Baldwin’s novel Giovanni’s Room, he conveys the process of David’s self-discovery and identity through David’s encounters with others. The first-person narration allows the reader to understand David’s identity; however, the reader learns that David has little to no understanding of his identity. Therefore, the reader must rely on the interactions David has with others to understand David’s identity.
In this draft, I was able to site my quote as well as address some of the issues I had in my first draft. I was able to better blend my quote with the addition of the word “the.” In my first draft, I overlooked this issue because I read the word the in my head, and failed to notice that it was not on the paper. In this draft, I added some more text to my thesis to better explain my ideas. However, my sentence clarity is lacking and this draft still needs some more work. I was attempting to better articulate my new ideas, but did not acknowledge that my sentence structure needed more work. My ideas were convoluted in the redundancies in the paragraph. This draft was not perfect and still needs to develop, but it was an improvement from my first
First Draft:
American entrepreneur, Jim Rohn, says that people are “average of the five people [they] spend the most time with.” Throughout Baldwin’s novel Giovanni’s Room, he conveys the ideas of self-discovery and identity within each of the characters that David encounters. Baldwin conveys the inner thoughts and morals of David through each of the characters he encounters.
A problem that I had with this draft was saying “each of the characters.” …show more content…
Throughout Baldwin’s novel Giovanni’s Room, he conveys the process of David’s self-discovery and identity through David’s encounters with others. The first-person narration allows the reader to understand David’s identity; however, the reader learns that David has little to no understanding of his identity. Therefore, the reader must rely on the interactions David has with others to understand David’s identity.
In this draft, I was able to site my quote as well as address some of the issues I had in my first draft. I was able to better blend my quote with the addition of the word “the.” In my first draft, I overlooked this issue because I read the word the in my head, and failed to notice that it was not on the paper. In this draft, I added some more text to my thesis to better explain my ideas. However, my sentence clarity is lacking and this draft still needs some more work. I was attempting to better articulate my new ideas, but did not acknowledge that my sentence structure needed more work. My ideas were convoluted in the redundancies in the paragraph. This draft was not perfect and still needs to develop, but it was an improvement from my first