When I was six years old the neighbor boy sexually abused me in the park behind our house. When I was seven he molested me by his hot tub. As a child I never said a word; there wasn’t a system or teaching or understanding in place to help me understand. I can still see the park, can still feel the cold water soaking into my clothes, slicking my skin. The boy was nearly four years older. He always told me “don’t tell or your parents will be mad,” he would whisper against me, “I do this because I love you.” My mother laughed about how boys treated me at school; she would always cup my soft face and offer an excuse for an answer, “boys do mean things to you because they like you.” It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that all the
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Modern culture holds onto the social construct of gender roles in a way that perpetuates harm to both parties. Hypermasculinity is described as “Inflated valuation of status, self-reliance, aggressive activities, dominance over others, and devaluation of emotion and cooperation and aggression towards women,” (Burk, Burkhart & Sikorski, 2014) Hypermasculinity is a vague ideal that in its simplest form conveys that men are more powerful than women. The language that develops with it is just as dangerous. My father used to say to me “you throw like a girl,” Or I hear guy friends harass each other with “don’t be a pussy.” A former Barlow student who will remain anonymous has said to me that wrestling coaches at our school often use derogatory language and euphemisms like “pull up your skirt”, or “don’t be a bitch.” So, we have men who feel like they have to live up to this imaginary toxic image of what a man is supposed to be, while simultaneously verbally and non verbally expressing that if you’re not man enough, that means you’re a woman, and being a woman is a problem. The social construct of hypermasculinity as an extreme gender role has not only given men a standard to reach that isn’t positive but it has also reduced femininity to a punchline and a curse. Hypermasculinity can also harm women in a more internal way. When I was growing up my household was a regular nuclear family. My mom stayed home until I was nine, my father ran a landscaping business, and then there was my older brother and I. My brother wasn’t athletic, but he was an amazing guitar player and actor, so my dad left him alone to carry on that path. Then when I came along my dad wanted the boy he felt like he never got but still deserved. I played baseball, I was a scrappy, I hated hanging out with other girls, I got in fights, I learned how to shoot, hunt, swallow all my
Modern culture holds onto the social construct of gender roles in a way that perpetuates harm to both parties. Hypermasculinity is described as “Inflated valuation of status, self-reliance, aggressive activities, dominance over others, and devaluation of emotion and cooperation and aggression towards women,” (Burk, Burkhart & Sikorski, 2014) Hypermasculinity is a vague ideal that in its simplest form conveys that men are more powerful than women. The language that develops with it is just as dangerous. My father used to say to me “you throw like a girl,” Or I hear guy friends harass each other with “don’t be a pussy.” A former Barlow student who will remain anonymous has said to me that wrestling coaches at our school often use derogatory language and euphemisms like “pull up your skirt”, or “don’t be a bitch.” So, we have men who feel like they have to live up to this imaginary toxic image of what a man is supposed to be, while simultaneously verbally and non verbally expressing that if you’re not man enough, that means you’re a woman, and being a woman is a problem. The social construct of hypermasculinity as an extreme gender role has not only given men a standard to reach that isn’t positive but it has also reduced femininity to a punchline and a curse. Hypermasculinity can also harm women in a more internal way. When I was growing up my household was a regular nuclear family. My mom stayed home until I was nine, my father ran a landscaping business, and then there was my older brother and I. My brother wasn’t athletic, but he was an amazing guitar player and actor, so my dad left him alone to carry on that path. Then when I came along my dad wanted the boy he felt like he never got but still deserved. I played baseball, I was a scrappy, I hated hanging out with other girls, I got in fights, I learned how to shoot, hunt, swallow all my