Personal Narrative: My Boyhood My Gender Identity

1321 Words 5 Pages
Pussy! Faggot! Bitch! Sissy! Homo! All these derogatory names and terms ultimately acted as my guide toward masculinity during my childhood. These superficial names for some reason were feared and dreaded. No male on the playground or in my neighborhood wanted to be called these names because they knew they would have to find a way to disprove that these names applied to them. Ultimately, these horrendous names promote that a "man" should never act like a woman and there is no way that a woman can even be evaluated on the same terms as a man. Therefore, throughout my boyhood my gender identity has been formed by the media, peers, and family. Television actively engrained many archetypes and expectations of men into my brain at young age. …show more content…
Spider-Man at first was bullied and barely noticed at school, until fate handed him the chance to make a name for himself and honorably fight crime for his murdered uncle. Looking back at it, Spider-Man was my favorite superhero because he was able to take and give a beating. Realistically, Spider-Man was extremely strong for only being human and his crime fighting abilities are what caused the ladies to go crazy over him. During my youth, I bought all his gear and whatever merchandise I could guilt my mother into buying for me. I decided to aspire to become fit and acquire adequate fighting skills because then I would be just as respected and admired as my inspiration Spider-Man. He was the ultimate "man" because he was glorified by everyone in New York City and he had an extremely gorgeous woman drawn to him. Spider-Man 's lack of fear and "king of the hill" attitude made me idolize him throughout my youth. These hidden messages found their way into my childhood and consequently shaped the way I …show more content…
My masculinity was defined by a "no sissy stuff" attitude. Doing anything that could remotely be considered as "girl-like," was extremely frowned upon by all my influences. My identity was ironically to avoid the people who showed me the most love and actually raised me just so that I could be socially acceptable. Avoiding name-calling should not control and be the foundation of anybody 's gender identity. I enjoy watching Spider-Man and taking others opinions into consideration, but I have found that my masculinity can only truly be defined by my own

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