However, in spite of the fact that she is strong, smart, and the person who really takes care of us- she is also insecure in her body and often lets that define her more in a way. Growing up and seeing that, I have tried to keep from letting how I look- especially when it comes to my body define my feelings towards myself so much. In my head, I feel like it is an unimportant thing and that who you are as a person should matter more, but when applying it to myself, it is difficult to use my rationale to change my emotions. Whenever I am around my cousins, though, I often feel inadequate because they are smaller than I am even though I have frequently gotten better grades and scholarships than they have and feel that should matter more, but the weight of that importance drops and I find this happens occasionally with other girls outside of my family as …show more content…
I respect and even almost envy girls who do as I wish I would at times try harder, but ultimately I think it is every person’s choice to do or not do it and I personally do not really feel any better or worse regardless. I have had friends who put an effort into how they look before, but my friends that I have now at school not only put an effort into how they look, they care a lot how I do too to an extent. They make comments about how I look “hot” whenever I put on makeup and ask who I got dressed up for and they only ask to take pictures with me if I put more of an effort into how I look. While I do not believe they have any bad intentions or are even aware of the fact that they act like how I look makes a difference in how they act towards me, it has affected me a lot. I started to get dressed up less and tell them more that I did not want to take pictures with them to spite them a little bit. While I had worn makeup with some regularity and would try and dress nicely for myself, now I do not most of the time because I just personally do not see a point in it in regards to myself. I also stopped doing it in part because of my