So there have been a few events in my life that have changed my view on the world, affected my mental and emotional health, and made me rethink who I am. A lot of those revolve around how gay I am, hence my title. Of course that’s just one aspect of who I am, so not everything that’s happened to me has to do with that. A lot, but not everything. At least not completely. The summer between 8th and 9th grade, I missed my two best friends a lot. Of course I missed all my friends, but it felt different somehow. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much I missed them and how much I loved spending time with them. I started to suspect that maybe I missed them differently from my other friends because I felt differently for them from my other friends.
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At first it seemed nice, and I just wanted to learn to speak Korean on my own rather than go to school for it. I did not anticipate exactly how much you have to work at entry level jobs to get by in South Portland. By the last year, I was having anxiety attacks almost every day, I never had time or energy to study or do much for fun, and I was working so much my body hurt everywhere. This all led to a decline in my mental health, and an eventual breakdown at the end of the year. My thoughts had started leading dark places, and I had to do something drastic to get my life back on track. In the end I decided to go to CMCC and to find an apartment in the area with my mom, seeing as she was having financial troubles as well and Lewiston/Auburn is much cheaper than the Portland area. I was able to get a job I actually enjoy working in a daycare, which alone has improved my mental health a lot. I also got health insurance so I could finally start seeing a doctor again, as well as a therapist. I finally feel like I have my anxiety mostly under control, I’m so excited to go to school, and I feel like my life is back on
At first it seemed nice, and I just wanted to learn to speak Korean on my own rather than go to school for it. I did not anticipate exactly how much you have to work at entry level jobs to get by in South Portland. By the last year, I was having anxiety attacks almost every day, I never had time or energy to study or do much for fun, and I was working so much my body hurt everywhere. This all led to a decline in my mental health, and an eventual breakdown at the end of the year. My thoughts had started leading dark places, and I had to do something drastic to get my life back on track. In the end I decided to go to CMCC and to find an apartment in the area with my mom, seeing as she was having financial troubles as well and Lewiston/Auburn is much cheaper than the Portland area. I was able to get a job I actually enjoy working in a daycare, which alone has improved my mental health a lot. I also got health insurance so I could finally start seeing a doctor again, as well as a therapist. I finally feel like I have my anxiety mostly under control, I’m so excited to go to school, and I feel like my life is back on