I change my name every time I go to Starbucks. Some days, I might be a Suzy while other days, I could feel like a Kelly or a Diane or a Caitlin. The possibilities are endless and it’s always fun to see what it’s like to be called a different name, to be a different person, even for just a few minutes. I have the freedom to be whoever I want, someone more special than who I usually am. As a result, I find it very awkward and uncomfortable to use my own name. Growing up, I was taught to be humble. I was taught that bragging about my accomplishments will make others feel inferior and chase people away from being my friend. Over time, that humbleness turned to insecurity and self-doubt. Along with stopping myself from being cocky and arrogant, I found myself doubting my
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So when I use a different name in public, I could be someone special, hiding all my flaws and imperfections. I’m Suzy, the valedictorian of my school with a perfect 4.0 GPA, the president of the speech and debate club, and a member of the school’s orchestra. I’m Kelly, the friendly social butterfly of my school, a stark contrast of my introverted self. I’m someone my parents are proud of. But after I finish my last drop of caramel macchiato and exit the Starbucks building, I’m back to being Kathy, a plain, petite Asian female that lacks any of the qualities I associated with the names I used. The beginning of my senior year, I did something that was quite out of character for an introvert: I become a volunteer for Kaiser Permanente Hospital. The other student volunteers were a weekly reminder of how incompetent I might look in the eyes of an admissions officer in comparison. They had been volunteers for years already, showing a long-time commitment, finished many of the necessary GE classes for their future major, and had amazing GPA’s despite their many extracurriculars and stack of AP classes on their
So when I use a different name in public, I could be someone special, hiding all my flaws and imperfections. I’m Suzy, the valedictorian of my school with a perfect 4.0 GPA, the president of the speech and debate club, and a member of the school’s orchestra. I’m Kelly, the friendly social butterfly of my school, a stark contrast of my introverted self. I’m someone my parents are proud of. But after I finish my last drop of caramel macchiato and exit the Starbucks building, I’m back to being Kathy, a plain, petite Asian female that lacks any of the qualities I associated with the names I used. The beginning of my senior year, I did something that was quite out of character for an introvert: I become a volunteer for Kaiser Permanente Hospital. The other student volunteers were a weekly reminder of how incompetent I might look in the eyes of an admissions officer in comparison. They had been volunteers for years already, showing a long-time commitment, finished many of the necessary GE classes for their future major, and had amazing GPA’s despite their many extracurriculars and stack of AP classes on their