INTRODUCTION One of the most powerful and widely practiced rituals used by human beings today is the apology. Apologies work wonders after a transgression. This universal phenomenon is the primary way for a transgressor to gain forgiveness and approval from a victim. Research has shown that children as young as 3 years understand apology, even before they understand things like amount of damage done to a victim or intention by a transgressor, and they prefer a transgressor who apologizes (Wellman et al., 1979). 4-to10-year-olds prefer apology as well, and even tend to judge a transgressor who does not apologize as feeling happy and one who does apologize as feeling negative, showing that they do understand important emotional functions of
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The present study questions whether or not children prefer sincere remorse over an insincere apology. One alternative, and the one we predict to be true, is that yes, children prefer sincere remorse over an insincere apology. This is plausible because although a transgressor explicitly apologizes, children should know what certain body languages infer and they may be able to tell when an apologizing transgressor does not actually feel bad. Because children display guilt themselves and know what it looks and feels like, they may prefer someone who looks sincerely remorse over someone who simply says that they are sorry. Studies show that when remorse is perceived by a victim, empathy and forgiveness toward the sorry transgressor are increased (Davis & Gold, 2011). On the other hand, when remorse is absent and intent is perceived, saying sorry does not lead to forgiveness; only when offenses are perceived as unintentional does forgiveness follow an apology (Struthers et al., 2008). Children tend to see happy, unremorseful transgressors as less favorable than those who show no emotion at all, and they tend to prefer transgressors who show sadness and remorse over those who show no emotion at all (Rybash & Roodin, 1982). This is consistent with the Equity Theory which suggests that happy transgressors in bad situations should be considered bad because they are not punishing themselves in a situation when they should be, and sad transgressors should be considered good because they feel discomfort when they should (Savitsky & Sim, 1974). Additionally, children tend to attribute intentionality and distribute punishment to happy transgressors more than to neutral transgressors, and to neutral transgressors more than to sad transgressors, meaning that the more upset and remorseful the
The present study questions whether or not children prefer sincere remorse over an insincere apology. One alternative, and the one we predict to be true, is that yes, children prefer sincere remorse over an insincere apology. This is plausible because although a transgressor explicitly apologizes, children should know what certain body languages infer and they may be able to tell when an apologizing transgressor does not actually feel bad. Because children display guilt themselves and know what it looks and feels like, they may prefer someone who looks sincerely remorse over someone who simply says that they are sorry. Studies show that when remorse is perceived by a victim, empathy and forgiveness toward the sorry transgressor are increased (Davis & Gold, 2011). On the other hand, when remorse is absent and intent is perceived, saying sorry does not lead to forgiveness; only when offenses are perceived as unintentional does forgiveness follow an apology (Struthers et al., 2008). Children tend to see happy, unremorseful transgressors as less favorable than those who show no emotion at all, and they tend to prefer transgressors who show sadness and remorse over those who show no emotion at all (Rybash & Roodin, 1982). This is consistent with the Equity Theory which suggests that happy transgressors in bad situations should be considered bad because they are not punishing themselves in a situation when they should be, and sad transgressors should be considered good because they feel discomfort when they should (Savitsky & Sim, 1974). Additionally, children tend to attribute intentionality and distribute punishment to happy transgressors more than to neutral transgressors, and to neutral transgressors more than to sad transgressors, meaning that the more upset and remorseful the