Finding My Angel
There is no real answers, why this happens or how it happens because there are no real signs. Many people go in the dark every day about it. We learn to lie, make excuses just to hide our very deadly secret. Everyone has their own reasons for why or how it started, everyone is different, but we are all headed down the same path to the same ending unless there is an angel hiding in the darkness along the way that will show us to the light at the end of the painful tunnel.
I have suffered from a eating disorder, anorexia to be exact, for 4 years and even I have issues bring it up or opening up to people. Its hard even though I have accepted it. Other than my parents and therapists, less than 10 people know out of my family …show more content…
This was hard enough to accept, but tragedy struck and a dresser fell on my back. The mirror hit the base of my neck and the top of the dresser hit my lower spin as the drawers fell down my legs. I could not move. It took my Mom a couple seconds to get it off my back, but those seconds felt like minutes. I remember being in pain but my brain blocked out most of the event due to shock and trauma. I was not able to dance for months. Now dance is my escape, my way to get out of my head and forget everything that is going on in the world. Take that away from me just after my grandfather died and my grandmother got sick, I went deeper into a depression. Throughout all of this, I still did not want to eat, food did not appeal to me and people accepted that and let me be. I didn’t loose much weight, very slowly because I still was eating a decent amount every …show more content…
I never realized how much I craved those comments until I started becoming very self conscious about my body and my appearance. Up until this point, my eating disorder was mostly emotionally related, but at this moment it started to become entential. I wanted to make a change to my body and that’s how I decided to do it. I was dancing a lot, I started working out at home and during the summers I had a gym membership. It was excessive but at the time, I thought it was normal. Beginning of grade 11, I came down with the flu, and lost 10 pounds. That kicked off the weight loss and I never gained that back. By this point, all I had was a devil on my shoulder telling me what to do, what not to eat. I got an app to track my calorie in take and an app to track my activity
There is no real answers, why this happens or how it happens because there are no real signs. Many people go in the dark every day about it. We learn to lie, make excuses just to hide our very deadly secret. Everyone has their own reasons for why or how it started, everyone is different, but we are all headed down the same path to the same ending unless there is an angel hiding in the darkness along the way that will show us to the light at the end of the painful tunnel.
I have suffered from a eating disorder, anorexia to be exact, for 4 years and even I have issues bring it up or opening up to people. Its hard even though I have accepted it. Other than my parents and therapists, less than 10 people know out of my family …show more content…
This was hard enough to accept, but tragedy struck and a dresser fell on my back. The mirror hit the base of my neck and the top of the dresser hit my lower spin as the drawers fell down my legs. I could not move. It took my Mom a couple seconds to get it off my back, but those seconds felt like minutes. I remember being in pain but my brain blocked out most of the event due to shock and trauma. I was not able to dance for months. Now dance is my escape, my way to get out of my head and forget everything that is going on in the world. Take that away from me just after my grandfather died and my grandmother got sick, I went deeper into a depression. Throughout all of this, I still did not want to eat, food did not appeal to me and people accepted that and let me be. I didn’t loose much weight, very slowly because I still was eating a decent amount every …show more content…
I never realized how much I craved those comments until I started becoming very self conscious about my body and my appearance. Up until this point, my eating disorder was mostly emotionally related, but at this moment it started to become entential. I wanted to make a change to my body and that’s how I decided to do it. I was dancing a lot, I started working out at home and during the summers I had a gym membership. It was excessive but at the time, I thought it was normal. Beginning of grade 11, I came down with the flu, and lost 10 pounds. That kicked off the weight loss and I never gained that back. By this point, all I had was a devil on my shoulder telling me what to do, what not to eat. I got an app to track my calorie in take and an app to track my activity