Final Gifts Case Review

Death is often a hard thing to understand and very emotional for everyone who is affected by it. More times than not it is hard to react in the proper way when someone else is dealing with a death. The book “Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communication of the Dying” by Maggie Callan and Patricia Kelley is all about Hospice care nurses. They tell many stories about their dying patients and their families reactions to the death process. Most of the stories show how to better listen to someone who is dying, how to react to certain situations not just initially react but truly analyze the situation, how to make both the dying and the people around them that more comfortable and also they showed the steps of grieving. …show more content…
When I was about 9 he wasn’t okay one night and ended up having a stroke as well as a heart attack, Im not sure what happened from there, there was debate if at some point his brain was deprived of oxygen for too long I believe he was at one point in a coma, all I know for sure is he was air lifted from mt clements general to U of M hospital where he was put on an ecmo machine. In the about a month he was there at one point he spoke of seeing a few people, the owner of the restaurant he has worked at his whole life who was not alive, either his dad or sister who were both not alive as well, and a celebrity or two. That occurrence was talked about a couple times in the book (p.85 &172) It makes me question what the presence of the people he was meant to do for him. In the book it speaks about the presence of someone who everyone else cannot see may bring the dying comfort “alans breathing changed… smiling as if he recognized someone he in bed and reached out his arms…then closed his eyes lay back and died” it also states that seeing the person they know could feel like a joyful reunion and give them a sense of pleasure. This all makes me wonder the purpose of my dad seeing the people he did. If rather than welcoming him with open arms they wanted to give him comfort but urge him to not give up and stay …show more content…
It is not a one size fits all process. To help people dealing with it every situation should be assessed differently, and every single person should be assessed differently. Just because one person is reacting one way does not mean their family will act the same way and another person in a similar situation may react very differently. You may be able to talk openly about it with some people if they are comfortable with the situation, that may give them a sense of peace. Others you may have to skirt around the issue and ignore it because it is just too hard for them to process. On the other hand I have learned there may be some things you can pick up on such as statements made by the ill that may just seem like confused ramblings. Those “ramblings” can really reveal the state of the person, if they are comfortable with dying or if something may be holding them back. The best thing I think you can do for people who are experiencing death, dying, or an illness is take a step back, look at their situation a little more and see how you can best help that person, see if its best to enlighten them about something, be gentle and kind with them and