He languidly lowered his eyes and whispered once more.
‘She’s a good girl.’
The tea flowed rapidly down my tongue and it tasted particularly soothing.
‘I missed the tea’ I said eventually breaking with the uncomfortable silence that once again reigned in the room. ‘So father, now that the firm folded will you finally retire?’
‘Yes, I believe-‘ he hesitated. ‘I think things have been taken care of.’
His response reassured me for a moment and I nodded. However, when my eyes met Kikuko’s a sharp pang of pain struck through me like a knife. Although I haven’t seen her in a long time, I was able to understand the traces of worry in her face and I instantly knew what she was …show more content…
It burns like fire. My throat and tongue were in flames. It was drowning out my voice gradually. I tried to scream, but not a word made it out of my mouth. I felt the poison of the fish running throughout my body and painfully slicing me from inside. I couldn’t move, I was left alone with my thoughts. Like fire. I felt it instantaneously burning my dreams and my hopes like fire, but I didn't care. There was nothing much for me in California.
What has my father done in his seek for honour…kill his own family? Kill his daughter and his son? I was frightened …how was that possible?
‘Well, at least’- I thought in disgust ‘at least he is a “man of principle”, just like his partner Watanabe. He should be proud of himself.’
But I blamed myself too. I blamed me for leaving my family. Now we will all be together forever. Forever…
‘That is a dreadful word’ my father used to drawl-‘ It is a meaningless word, too.’ Well, it is undeniably dreadful. However, with just some hours or minutes left to die it didn’t seem meaningless at all to me. My introspective was running so fast that sometimes it had no guiding thread.
My thoughts ceased for a moment. The throat was getting tighter and tighter, I couldn’t think correctly. Being ready or not it didn’t make a difference, I would die in a few minutes.
Poor mother…for a second I felt relieved. I was relieved that I would finally encounter her and tell her how sorry I was. That was my last