According to Oliver Hudson "Blood relatives often have nothing to do with family, and similarly, family is about who you choose to make your life with" (Hudson). I myself do not consider my biological parents as my real family since they were not there for me nearly as much as some of my friends and their parents were. With my father leaving my mother when I was born, I did not have a proper father figure to teach me certain aspects such as self-discipline, teamwork, or a sense of gender identity, all of which had to be self-taught. Also, due to my father’s absence my mother had to work twice as hard to sustain our household which meant that I would have to be self-dependent as I grew up. Instead of going to my mother for help with problems who was constantly busy with her job, I found guidance in one of my friends parents who treated me as a real family member in their household. To this day I am grateful for my friend’s parents who I considered my family for shaping me as a person. They taught me valuable morals such as honor, hard work, strength, responsibility, patience, tolerance, kindness, sincerity, and care. Although I still loved my mother and was appreciative for what she did for me, I did not feel as much of a bond with her as I did with my friend and their parents who treated me so well. I felt a sense of …show more content…
Someone with an abusive father or neglectful mother might not view them as much of a family member as they would their close friend or pet. However, when trying to define who your true family is one should be able to evaluate whether the people that they consider family have all of the qualities that a true family should have such as appreciation and affection for each other, being able to spend time together, having positive communication, as well as having a well established set of values, morals, and beliefs in order to guide the individual. With having the right set of values in a family system, a person can become a responsible, conscientious, and well-adjusted individual which is what successful family should instill in the people they are caring for. If a person can 't truly say that the people who are currently in their life love them for who they are, motivate them, or care for them, they should not be considered their family. While we can 't choose the biological family that we are born with, we are always able to choose the people that we do consider our true family which are the people that will always be there for us, support us, love us, and show us that we do matter to