Warning Signs Of Dating Abuse Essay

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1.6) Warning Signs of Dating Abuse:

• Criticizing you – Belittling you and your beliefs. Telling you what you can and cannot wear or what you can or cannot do.
• Touching you without your permission – If your partner is being affectionate without your permission, they do not care about your boundaries.
• Purposely ignoring safe sex practices – Not using a condom. Telling you not to take birth control. Your partner does not respect the choices you are making for your future and for yourself.
• Constantly checking up on you – Phoning or messaging you when you are out and demanding to know who you are with and what you are doing.
• Isolating you from your friends and family - Restricting or forcing you to cut ties with your friends and family.
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The couple feel love and dependency on one other. Abuse has not yet taken place.
As cycle repeats itself, the couple act as though abuse never happened. The victim hopes the abuse is over, and the abuser may give the victim gifts.

Tension-Building Phase Incidents such as criticism, yelling and blaming occur. The victim often is on edge because they believe it may be their fault that the abuser is upset. The victim tries to figure out how they can prevent the violence from happening again and how to keep the abuser calm.

Explosive Phase
Violence typically gets worse over time. The abuser terrorizes victim, breaks things, hits, chokes, burns, ties up, rapes or kicks the victim. The victim will survive this phase with bruises and a few broken bones, and they may end up in the hospital. The police may be contacted in some cases.

Reconciliation
The abuser apologizes and begs the victim to believe that the violence will not occur again. The victim is blamed for the abuse that has taken place. The victim may still be still in shock of the violence that had occurred which leaves the victim vulnerable to accept apologies and gifts from the abuser.

1.8) Realistic ways to escape an abusive
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The victim may want to seek help from a counsellor or a therapist. The victim should try to rebuild and live their lives without the control of the abuser. Mixed emotions or feelings are normal. The victim should try keep moving forward and away from their past. Regaining their independence can be done in ways such as getting a job.

1.9) South African organisations that can provide assistance for dating abuse

POWA – People Opposing Women Abuse
POWA is a women’s rights organisation that provides services to survivors of abuse such as shelters, counselling and support groups. POWA engages in advocacy using feminist and intersectional analysis. Their advocacy work includes legal reform such as strategic litigation. Their activities aim to improve women’s leadership. You can contact POWA through:
⇒ Email: info@powa.co.za
⇒ Fax: 011 484 3195
⇒ Telephone: 011 642 4345/6

TEARS Foundation Charity
The tear drop logo represents weeping at the violence and degradation suffered by rape and abuse victims. The teardrop also represents cleansing, healing and hope. Tears Foundation provides crisis intervention, advocacy, counselling to abuse survivors without charge. You can contact TEARS

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