He says “All my senses seemed to desire to veil themselves and, feeling that I was about to slip from them, I pressed the palms of my hands together until they trembled, murmuring: “O love! O love!” many times (Joyce in Gardner, Lawn, Ridl, and Schakel, 2013,p108). This indicates his struggle to express his feelings to the girl. When he finally speaks to her and asked if he will be going to the bazaar, he was blown away with excitement and even forget if he had answered her. He could not even focus at school, all he could think about is the bazaar and his unrealistic expectations if he is able to get her a gift. He encountered several obstacles the uncle coming home late to give him money, the delays on the train and he ended up spending half of the money. When he finally gets to the bazaar it was about to be closed and couldn’t find nothing to buy for the girl he says “ I lingered before the stall, though I know my stay was useless, … … … Then I turned away slowly and walked down the middle of the bazaar : I allowed the two pennies to fall ……….I heard a voice call from one end of the gallery that the light was out ( Joyce in Gardner, Lawn , Ridl , and Schakel, 2013,p 111 ) …show more content…
This could also be seen as an eye opener from “ blindness ” to “ seeing ” . And the narrator realizes through his disappointment that gifts will not warrant, the girl to show him love and it dawned on him that his quest to win the girls love through the buying of gift is naïve , childish and mad at himself and may probably never have this kind of fantasy and crush again. This epiphany unlike the cathedral is unpleasant because he sees himself alone , alienated ,driven and derided by vanity. This is because of his religious up bringing makes him see his actions as shameful and keeps the crush as a secret because it is socially not accepted