The Ethicist: My Wife Wants To Adopt

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After reviewing The Ethicist on the New York Times website there were many ethical dilemmas to choose from and not very many that I could relate to but ones that could be easily understood. It wasn’t easy choosing a single Dilemma but the one I would most like to discuss is
“My Wife Wants to Adopt. When Do I Tell Her I Won’t?” In a marriage I think it’s wrong to keep a secret like this and is there a reason no man would ever want kids after marrying someone? It doesn’t make any sense to me. The point of marrying someone is that you trust them and that means having an open honest relationship with them. Even if the person gets mad you have to find some way to deal with it. In a marriage, you and your wife are not always going to agree on everything
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But the wife could have known all along. And since this situation is hard, something like this can affect both of them for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, it’s understandable why he’s not telling her right away that he doesn’t want kids is because he obviously doesn’t want to lose her.
If there’s a really big issue like this in a marriage and there’s a disagreement about it, the best way to get through it is marriage counseling if the couple were to come to that conclusion, but the other conclusion would be to talk it out first before deciding on counseling. The couple can always look back in a time where they knew how it felt to want to have any kids. A lot of people at least once never saw kids in their future until they got older. Sometimes loving some for the rest of your life means sacrificing your happiness for theirs and nothing should make you happier than to see your partner happy, meaning adopting/having a baby with them. There could also be a good reason that he doesn’t want to have kids like having kids could cost their marriage and have they been married long enough to have children or could it also be because of their

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