Why Is Self Disclosure Important

INSERT INTRO SENTENCE HERE WHICH IM BAD AT THINKING OF. The textbook describes self-disclosure, which is closely related to vulnerability, as “the intentional revelation of personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways.” This means that, in order to make yourself completely emotionally vulnerable, we need to explicitly disclose information about ourselves that the person we are having a conversation with would have a hard time finding out otherwise. Like all forms of communication, self-disclosure is a process that takes place between people who are getting to know one another. It can be messy- being vulnerable is rarely comfortable- but it is vital in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships …show more content…
Brene Brown, researcher, author, and “vulnerability expert,” discusses vulnerability in a 2010 TED Talk, while acknowledging factors for avoiding it. First of all, we numb vulnerability as a means of dealing with it. Instead of facing what scares us, we avoid and medicate ourselves with a belief that nothing is wrong with us or our situation or what we do or what we have done. She also discusses how our society is obsessed with making the uncertain certain, that we try to perfect every thing around us- ourselves and others-, and we avoid facing the ramifications of our decisions. This again reflects how we let our pride and fear effect how react in situations when we need to be honest and open with our thoughts and feelings. When we find ourselves in stress, it’s easy to blame others for “making [us] feel” a certain way or for “making [us] chose a decision.” Brown describes this blame, as it appears in the research, as “a way to discharge pain and discomfort,”- the same discomfort felt when faced with an opportunity to be vulnerable. The textbook also attributes fear of acceptance as a huge factor in this discomfort. When we disclose information to others, we give them the opportunity to affirm us or deny us of love and belonging, but sometimes the risk of the negative side effects to this feel much to heavy. We fear what would happen if someone saw our flaws- whether we will be rejected or celebrated, cast away or loved- and the fear of someone seeing these vulnerable parts of us is enough to suppress our imperfects. Then, we perfect ourselves. This is also why a reciprocal exchange of disclosures is so important: if someone shares embarrassing or off-putting facts about themselves, it’s easy to share similar stories. We just need these mutual conversations to remind ourselves that we’re all flawed people looking for