Essay On My Relationship

2590 Words 10 Pages
My mother was raised in an affectionate family with a father who was also in the Navy therefore, not home much. Very clichéd, her dad drank and had lady friends while out on tour. His frequent tours away from the family left Nydia, my maternal grandmother, lonely with three children. My grandmother and the kids would travel to Puerto Rico a lot to spend time with her family. Eventually being with family was not enough to get her out her slump and she grew depressed, later to be diagnosed as bi-polar. Michael, my maternal grandfather, and my grandmother had a very strained relationship because of his infidelity which eventually led them to divorce, twice.
My mother, Jennie, was very close to her father and her mother. She could do no wrong
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Instead I was jealous of my relationship that my brother had with my parents. Billy is younger and completely different than me. He is very outspoken, funny, and a boy. We were not very close for part of our childhood.
I felt overshadowed. It seemed that if Billy and I said the same thing my dad would only hear what Billy said. Over the course of my life this pattern of not having a voice or not having my feelings validated has affected my relationships particularly with men. I have learned to make a special effort to approach male colleagues or peers to face my fear of possible rejection, disappointment and need for validation. Although communication with my husband has been an issue over the past 15 years the same emotions are not linked.
Now, Billy and I are very close as are our children and spouses. We do have a difference in opinions about the way we were raised but we do not speak much about the topic as it is behind us now. I have accepted our differences and do not blame him for my
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Someone who can help me articulate my feelings. Speaking to my mom was helpful but if I had a question on how I was raised the conversation quickly turned defensive and my mom would self-reflect on her own past parental skills. I often ended up feeling guilty that I even brought up my feelings.
I found the courage to tell my aunt Maureen that I went to see a counselor for anxiety and past feelings. She was very supportive and shared with me that she too was in therapy for the relationship she had with her mother, Margaret. I started to feel uncomfortable that I had a secret from my parents. With a pit in my stomach I found a quiet moment to tell my parents I was in therapy for the many feelings building up over the course of my life. Their initial reaction was surprised but not defensive or upset. I made sure to explain that it was a combination of situations and not solely on the way I was raised.
After this hurdle of telling them about therapy I have had a more open relationship with them. I have tried to educate them on the positive aspects of therapy and being

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