Question 1: What communication competence characteristics seemed evident or absent in each character? (20pt.) The textbook provides seven communication competence characteristics: a wide range of behaviors, ability to choose the most appropriate behavior, skill at performing the behavior, cognitive complexity, empathy, self-monitoring, and commitment (pp. 21-26). However, for most of the movie, both Gary and Brooke seem lacking in each of these characteristics. A Wide Range of Behaviors: Gary and Brooke do not demonstrate a wide range of behavior. When upset, they both respond angrily and aggressively. For example, during Pictionary, when Gary’s team can’t guess that Brooke is drawing a sock, Gary yells and Brooke also responds by yelling.
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However, in the beginning, their conflicts aren’t solely about buying enough lemons for a lemon centerpiece, helping with the dishes, or getting enough alone time. Their conflicts seem to be based on deeper unmet needs. This is well illustrated by their conflict that starts over Brooke wanting help with the dishes and Gary wanting time to rest. Brooke acknowledges that it’s not solely about dishes or lemons. She states, “It’d be nice if did things that I asked. It would be even nicer if you did things without me having to ask you.” Gary points out that he initiated sex that morning, but Brooke says that’s not what she means. When their argument morphs into how Gary never takes her to the ballet, Brooke states, “It’s about the person that you love, loves the ballet and you want to spend time with that person.” A little bit later, she asks him, “How do you show up for me?” Gary angrily responds that he goes to work to make money, so she doesn’t have to work. These statements seem to illustrate that Brooke just wants him to demonstrate he cares through her love languages. Gary believes he is showing he cares about her. While discussing Gary Chapman’s work on love languages, the textbook states, “[W]e get into trouble when we fail to recognize that our way of expressing love may not match our partner’s.150” (p. 339). This seems to be the case for Brooke. Gary’s way of expressing love may be through physical touch or going to work and making money, but Brooke simply wants him to do things for her (acts of service) and spend time with her doing things she enjoys (quality time), like going to the
However, in the beginning, their conflicts aren’t solely about buying enough lemons for a lemon centerpiece, helping with the dishes, or getting enough alone time. Their conflicts seem to be based on deeper unmet needs. This is well illustrated by their conflict that starts over Brooke wanting help with the dishes and Gary wanting time to rest. Brooke acknowledges that it’s not solely about dishes or lemons. She states, “It’d be nice if did things that I asked. It would be even nicer if you did things without me having to ask you.” Gary points out that he initiated sex that morning, but Brooke says that’s not what she means. When their argument morphs into how Gary never takes her to the ballet, Brooke states, “It’s about the person that you love, loves the ballet and you want to spend time with that person.” A little bit later, she asks him, “How do you show up for me?” Gary angrily responds that he goes to work to make money, so she doesn’t have to work. These statements seem to illustrate that Brooke just wants him to demonstrate he cares through her love languages. Gary believes he is showing he cares about her. While discussing Gary Chapman’s work on love languages, the textbook states, “[W]e get into trouble when we fail to recognize that our way of expressing love may not match our partner’s.150” (p. 339). This seems to be the case for Brooke. Gary’s way of expressing love may be through physical touch or going to work and making money, but Brooke simply wants him to do things for her (acts of service) and spend time with her doing things she enjoys (quality time), like going to the