How did I get here?
This class was interesting to me because it made my life make more sense, and I have a better understanding of why I do some of the things I do. The class helped me to see that I am not dumb or weird, but in fact, some stages of my early development were affected in a negative way, and to see the scientific evidence of that was emotional but interesting. I am so blessed to know that my God can heal, repair, and restore me to a normal and functioning person; going back to school is proof of that. He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalms 147:3, New Living Translation (NLT).
I will start with attachment, which according to Mary Ainsworth is, ““an affectional tie” that an infant forms with a care giver- a …show more content…
I just started talking to my mother again after 2 or more years. Of course nothing was ever mentioned about the abuse, so that left me always wondering if she was sorry that that happened or if she even believed me or what. Nothing ever did happen to anyone, no court hearing, no arrest, and no one ever even went out to check on my brother and sister. So what Erikson was saying about the mistrust (Erikson, 1963) was certain in my life. It gave me a sense of not trusting any authority figure, which affected every area of my life. I was so glad to be talking to my mom again that I just hid all my feelings and wonders. About 12 years old I started parting with older people and realized I could hide the pain, wonder, and unhappiness of all that had happened. I think the PTSD was at its peak, I was able to go to my mom’s and my step dad was there, I felt so scared because I saw that nothing ever happened to him for his bad behavior so it made me be on guard at all times. I believe that these particular traumatic events also played a role in the specific attachment type I currently struggle with (Ainsworth, 1973). As reported by research, children who have been sexually abused are more likely to struggle with alcohol and drug abuse and destructive behavior. “This research shows that sexually abused children often have problems with fear, worry, sadness, anger, feeling alone and apart from others, feeling as if people are looking down on them, low self-worth, and not being able to trust others (US CPS, Fritz, 2012). Well this research happened to be correct for me, my whole teenage/young adult life was infected with this issue. I started hanging around with the wrong crowd, if I was going to parties with friends and getting drunk and high then I felt good about myself, even if I was letting people take advantage of me. I became promiscuous in a dangerous way. I didn’t care, I
This class was interesting to me because it made my life make more sense, and I have a better understanding of why I do some of the things I do. The class helped me to see that I am not dumb or weird, but in fact, some stages of my early development were affected in a negative way, and to see the scientific evidence of that was emotional but interesting. I am so blessed to know that my God can heal, repair, and restore me to a normal and functioning person; going back to school is proof of that. He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalms 147:3, New Living Translation (NLT).
I will start with attachment, which according to Mary Ainsworth is, ““an affectional tie” that an infant forms with a care giver- a …show more content…
I just started talking to my mother again after 2 or more years. Of course nothing was ever mentioned about the abuse, so that left me always wondering if she was sorry that that happened or if she even believed me or what. Nothing ever did happen to anyone, no court hearing, no arrest, and no one ever even went out to check on my brother and sister. So what Erikson was saying about the mistrust (Erikson, 1963) was certain in my life. It gave me a sense of not trusting any authority figure, which affected every area of my life. I was so glad to be talking to my mom again that I just hid all my feelings and wonders. About 12 years old I started parting with older people and realized I could hide the pain, wonder, and unhappiness of all that had happened. I think the PTSD was at its peak, I was able to go to my mom’s and my step dad was there, I felt so scared because I saw that nothing ever happened to him for his bad behavior so it made me be on guard at all times. I believe that these particular traumatic events also played a role in the specific attachment type I currently struggle with (Ainsworth, 1973). As reported by research, children who have been sexually abused are more likely to struggle with alcohol and drug abuse and destructive behavior. “This research shows that sexually abused children often have problems with fear, worry, sadness, anger, feeling alone and apart from others, feeling as if people are looking down on them, low self-worth, and not being able to trust others (US CPS, Fritz, 2012). Well this research happened to be correct for me, my whole teenage/young adult life was infected with this issue. I started hanging around with the wrong crowd, if I was going to parties with friends and getting drunk and high then I felt good about myself, even if I was letting people take advantage of me. I became promiscuous in a dangerous way. I didn’t care, I