English Belonging Creative Essay
I am outside the door. Still. I closed the door on the old world of me, the dark side of me. Life as a drug dealer. You get in quick and you get out quick. Simple enough isn’t it? No. Once you choose a direction in life, it’s hard, and can often seem impossible to change. Especially in the world of drugs.
I feel like I have let everyone I ever knew down, but it was for my own good. Yeah the money is fantastic, but what good’s money when you’re in the joint for the rest of your life? I closed a door on all my friends, my mates that stuck up for me no matter what. After all they had done for me, I just split. I didn’t talk to any of them about it. Not one word. In their eyes, I just disappeared. Imagine what …show more content…
I sit here in Hyde Park, overlooking the pool of rememberance because I thought it would give me a reason to forgive myself for the ultimate act of betrayal. But no. The icy wind still blows, and every time there is a gust, it whispers ‘betrayal’ softly in my ear. Nothing has changed. Twigs continue to fall into the pool. Each ripple made by the twigs cuts right into my soul like a jagged edged knife. The door on that part of my life was glued shut. I glued it shut myself. It would be impossible to reopen it. So I was left with no choice but to start a new life. An honest life. I was going to find a real job, and stay loyal to the friends that I would make. Easier said than done.
I walked into Kings Cross Police station thinking that I would be able to make a difference to the streets. After all, I did use to control them. After some time in the police force, I rose to the rank of Super Intendent. Streets were safer, there was a much