On April 20th 2016, I’ve entered into this black hole that I wasn’t proud of. Ignoring calls from friends and family and when I did answer I responded with no emotion temporarily zoning out. Apart of the reason why I did this was because I was mad at the world and had some angry towards my dad because we haven’t seen each other in 17 years and just when everything was perfect and I was planning my trip he was gone. This concept is described as emotional cutoff by the Bowen theory “people managing their unresolved emotional issues with parents, siblings, and other family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them” (The Bowen Center, 2016), since my dad was gone our emotional or any contact was completely cut off and
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Reason being I think because they think I haven’t dealt with the events of my dad’s death in the ‘proper’ way. Just because I haven’t cried to them or shown any emotional destress they think I’m going to fall apart one day. “Essentially society, also, has emotional forces that tend to diminish intellectual functioning, and chronic anxiety of the time will reinforce fusion” (The Bowen Center, 2016). Society has a pattern of putting us in margins, trying to keep us in boxes that have labels. These labels intensify in culture standards, many times I have been labeled as an orphan and people have felt the need to treat me differently. Sometimes the reaction to both my parents being gone are either pity, positive or negative ones. Facing the dramatic event, I went through this year caused me to hide my emotions from society. Some believed that I needed help and attention and others that I would be a lost child because I didn’t have any parent to keep me in check. These were the judgments that hurt me the most because I felt like they were disregarding my grandmother and all that she did to raise me. I didn’t want society to dissect my familial structure and feel pity for me. Often times this affects me deeply but I’m learning to accept it and move on because I know that I will be alright and I don’t need anyone else telling me other
Reason being I think because they think I haven’t dealt with the events of my dad’s death in the ‘proper’ way. Just because I haven’t cried to them or shown any emotional destress they think I’m going to fall apart one day. “Essentially society, also, has emotional forces that tend to diminish intellectual functioning, and chronic anxiety of the time will reinforce fusion” (The Bowen Center, 2016). Society has a pattern of putting us in margins, trying to keep us in boxes that have labels. These labels intensify in culture standards, many times I have been labeled as an orphan and people have felt the need to treat me differently. Sometimes the reaction to both my parents being gone are either pity, positive or negative ones. Facing the dramatic event, I went through this year caused me to hide my emotions from society. Some believed that I needed help and attention and others that I would be a lost child because I didn’t have any parent to keep me in check. These were the judgments that hurt me the most because I felt like they were disregarding my grandmother and all that she did to raise me. I didn’t want society to dissect my familial structure and feel pity for me. Often times this affects me deeply but I’m learning to accept it and move on because I know that I will be alright and I don’t need anyone else telling me other