Carry On opens with a quote by Henri Nouwen, “Each step is like a candle burning in the night. It does not take the darkness away, but it guides us through the darkness. When we look back after many small steps of love, we will discover that we have made a long and beautiful journey.” For three weeks this summer, I lived in the woods of New Hampshire as a Counselor In Training at Camp Carefree. Camp Carefree is for children with type one diabetes (T1D), and I myself had attended as a camper. Despite diabetes being one of the worst things in my life, camp had always been one of the best. My camper years had been transformative, but they did not change my life in the same way my CIT year did. This is my story of resilience, redemption, and an unlikely family. I am used to carrying on even if I feel like my world is falling apart. “Resilient” is a word I would use for anyone living with T1D, but I have never met a more resilient group than my CIT class. If you have never worked at a a residential camp, you cannot imagine what it is like. The only way I can explain it is that it is the highest of highs and lowest of lows all wrapped into one. But in both the high and low times, I always knew the CITs had my back. When discussing the wrestling team, Fenn said, “They were not much of a team, but they were a family.” (Fenn 12) In a sense, we were very much a team, but that came second when we needed to be a family. We were late to meetings more than once because one of us needed a pep talk and a hug. Camp administrators told us we were the best CITs they had seen in years, and I will always believe it was because we put each other first. No matter how tired or stressed I was, I never felt like I was faking a smile for the kids and that was due to having friends who picked me up when I was down. My campers had suffered as a result of their diabetes, but some of them had endured so much more than I could ever imagine.
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As Fenn said, “I was capturing their stories, while they were refining mine.” (Fenn 167) We had a fifteen year old camper who had surivived her brother’s death, multiple suicide attempts, and sexual assault. She was one of many campers who struggles with depression, and even more campers have other mental health issues. One girl in my cabin had a home life very similiar to Dartanyon and Leroy’s. My senior camper year, I became the “big sister” to Natalia, one of our younger campers. She confided in me that her family was struggling with money among other issues, and the situation did not seem to improve two years later. These were kids who had carried the world on their shoulders, and I owed it to them to make sure they knew they were loved. Whether that was verbally or through actions like braiding hair or never turning away hugs, I helped make camp into their safe place. They did not redeeming, for their misfortune was beyond their control, but camp let them regain their childhood. When asked why I returned to camp year after
As Fenn said, “I was capturing their stories, while they were refining mine.” (Fenn 167) We had a fifteen year old camper who had surivived her brother’s death, multiple suicide attempts, and sexual assault. She was one of many campers who struggles with depression, and even more campers have other mental health issues. One girl in my cabin had a home life very similiar to Dartanyon and Leroy’s. My senior camper year, I became the “big sister” to Natalia, one of our younger campers. She confided in me that her family was struggling with money among other issues, and the situation did not seem to improve two years later. These were kids who had carried the world on their shoulders, and I owed it to them to make sure they knew they were loved. Whether that was verbally or through actions like braiding hair or never turning away hugs, I helped make camp into their safe place. They did not redeeming, for their misfortune was beyond their control, but camp let them regain their childhood. When asked why I returned to camp year after