Getting the Game: It’s not about fixing anyone.
The family belief was, "avoid internal work and use intellect and analysis to point out what is wrong with everyone else. Talk about what others should fix." During my coaching call with Lisa Sanden, she helped me realize that this is not the game we are playing. Looking externally and seeking to fix others was not nourishing for me and often left me feeling hopeless, dissatisfied, and depressed. These are the negative effects of the drama triangle.
The YOT Personal Power quarter was impactful as I became more conscious of the victim role I played in the drama triangle, and how I blamed others instead of taking responsibility for my choices. I stepped into my power in regards to Justin and noticed the shackling guilt I felt whenever I talked with him. I felt I carried the guilt and accepted his punishment for being a "bad" wife and a "selfish" mother. Feeling "guilty" drove me deeper into the drama triangle and I justified my actions. I hated handing him my power every time we talked. It was as if I was asking to be persecuted.
I worked through a lot of this guilt and shame that quarter. I went head-to-head with Justin and supported my stronger internal self. Mid-way through the quarter, I stopped looking to him for affirmation or approval. I cut him out of my …show more content…
As it turned out, we hosted a lovely event. We had fresh flowers, new table linens and decorations, dinner music, and great food. The structure for a great event was in place, but we lacked attendees. Of the 75 or so I invited, ten people showed. I was hurt and dissatisfied. I was not in the moment during the event as I noticed the leftovers and empty seats. I hurt. Following the event I was sad and I noticed how I wanted to punish the no-shows. I felt
The family belief was, "avoid internal work and use intellect and analysis to point out what is wrong with everyone else. Talk about what others should fix." During my coaching call with Lisa Sanden, she helped me realize that this is not the game we are playing. Looking externally and seeking to fix others was not nourishing for me and often left me feeling hopeless, dissatisfied, and depressed. These are the negative effects of the drama triangle.
The YOT Personal Power quarter was impactful as I became more conscious of the victim role I played in the drama triangle, and how I blamed others instead of taking responsibility for my choices. I stepped into my power in regards to Justin and noticed the shackling guilt I felt whenever I talked with him. I felt I carried the guilt and accepted his punishment for being a "bad" wife and a "selfish" mother. Feeling "guilty" drove me deeper into the drama triangle and I justified my actions. I hated handing him my power every time we talked. It was as if I was asking to be persecuted.
I worked through a lot of this guilt and shame that quarter. I went head-to-head with Justin and supported my stronger internal self. Mid-way through the quarter, I stopped looking to him for affirmation or approval. I cut him out of my …show more content…
As it turned out, we hosted a lovely event. We had fresh flowers, new table linens and decorations, dinner music, and great food. The structure for a great event was in place, but we lacked attendees. Of the 75 or so I invited, ten people showed. I was hurt and dissatisfied. I was not in the moment during the event as I noticed the leftovers and empty seats. I hurt. Following the event I was sad and I noticed how I wanted to punish the no-shows. I felt