Do Things Fall Apart Out Of Selfishness

I'm writing you this because it's time certain things are spoken about. I thought about how and where we went wrong as I scrolled across some old messages between you and I. When you were deployed in Qatar, the honest answer is we stopped being there for each other. We expressed so much love to each other and were so concerned with the other person instead of ourselves. As I read it sadden to me to see how we created this bond during our marriage to let it all fall apart out of selfishness. We both were going through self problems, I was pregnant you deployed. I couldn't relate and being pregnant became all I thought about. Which lead to feeling unwanted on both parties. It never made sense to me why at time but I understand now. I wasn't there …show more content…
But I understand now as well, your reasoning for going back to old habits you wanted to feel understood. Those feelings that I once gave I failed to do so. It didn't mean you didn't love me you just wanted to feel important. People do things out of selfishness and I'm aware we both were selfish. Although what was done I can not agree with the actions nor dismiss them. However people deal with life in different ways and I can't tell you how to deal with life. Realizing myself that I'm not as wild and crazy as I once was and of course I would love to be even if it's once a month. But I need you to know that change is the inevitable in life and some parts of me may never be how I once was before children. I would like to get this off my chest and express that I'm aware of what's been done and being done. Nor am I trying to change you because I love you for you. Also I'm not valid to tell you who to converse and interact with that is your own personal choice. I held this because I wanted to give you the opportunity to figure things out as well as I was too emotional at that time to bring this to your attention. But I am aware of the things being done and past …show more content…
I ask that you figure out where you want your life to go and who do you want apart of it. It will be easier to accept the truth. I personally rather you live your truth and be happy overall even if I'm no longer apart of that journey. I'm not stating I want out or I'm leaving but apart of being married is focusing on the other person plus dealing and understanding from your spouse perspective. I've now reached that place of where logic not emotion controls my outlook on certain aspects of life and this is one of them. I am your life partner we've gained two blessings from each other and that can never be replaced. I know the place we're at is no longer the same as before and you may seem to believe I am not for you. But I do know at one time I was what you prayed for as a wife. I am confident knowing that our children, nor your mother should not be the reason we continue a path if we're not in it for the right reason because it still causes hurt to everyone if certain behaviors are still in place. I love you regardless of the outcome, we are always a family we have a history of 10 years and forever to go due to having children. For that very reason you are and will always be a blessing to