FADE IN:
INT. TRAIN - DAY
Cliff is sitting on the train looking out the window at the Louisiana landscape. A dirty man sitting next to CLIFF is pulling his feet to his face so he can bite off his toenails. Cliff pulls out his wallet and stares at an old picture of MARIA, STAG and himself. They are all making goofy faces at the camera.
DIRTY MAN
Who’s that?
CLIFF
Just some friends. Old friends.
DIRTY MAN
She looks like she smells nice.
CLIFF
Uh, yeah... she does.
DIRTY MAN
Can I have it?
CLIFF
What?
DIRTY MAN
That picture. Can I have it?
CLIFF
Oh, uh, no.
DIRTY MAN
Okay. (Pause) What’s her name?
CLIFF
MARIA.
DIRTY MAN Yeah, Marias always smell nice. Not like Lisas. Bleh. You ever smell a Lisa?
CLIFF
No.
DIRTY MAN
Awful. (Pause) Hey, …show more content…
Can I get one basket of bread please?
LONNIE
What was that, CRAIG? You want some bread? Is that it?
LONNIE picks up some rolls and starts throwing them at Craig.
LONNIE (CONT’D)
Here’s some fuckin bread, you fat shit! Yeah, you like that?
CRAIG
Fuck you, LONNIE! I’m sick of you coming in here and getting special treatment.
LONNIE
No, fuck you, Craig. If you want some special treatment why don’t you play something and get your name on that wall? Besides, we ordered before you and you know it. Stop coming in here trying to make everyone else miserable just because you hate your wife.
CRAIG
Whatever, man.
LONNIE shifts his focus back to CLIFF.
LONNIE
Rule number 2, is to never take shit from anyone. Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself. As you grow as a band, there are going to be a lot of people trying to break your balls. Protect your balls at all cost. I’m talking about going to your nearest sporting goods store, finding the catchers cup section, and trying a few on until you find the perfect fit. Metal ones too, none of this hard-plastic shit.
CLIFF
I’m sorry, are you being literal right now?
INT. TRAIN - DAY
Cliff is sitting on the train looking out the window at the Louisiana landscape. A dirty man sitting next to CLIFF is pulling his feet to his face so he can bite off his toenails. Cliff pulls out his wallet and stares at an old picture of MARIA, STAG and himself. They are all making goofy faces at the camera.
DIRTY MAN
Who’s that?
CLIFF
Just some friends. Old friends.
DIRTY MAN
She looks like she smells nice.
CLIFF
Uh, yeah... she does.
DIRTY MAN
Can I have it?
CLIFF
What?
DIRTY MAN
That picture. Can I have it?
CLIFF
Oh, uh, no.
DIRTY MAN
Okay. (Pause) What’s her name?
CLIFF
MARIA.
DIRTY MAN Yeah, Marias always smell nice. Not like Lisas. Bleh. You ever smell a Lisa?
CLIFF
No.
DIRTY MAN
Awful. (Pause) Hey, …show more content…
Can I get one basket of bread please?
LONNIE
What was that, CRAIG? You want some bread? Is that it?
LONNIE picks up some rolls and starts throwing them at Craig.
LONNIE (CONT’D)
Here’s some fuckin bread, you fat shit! Yeah, you like that?
CRAIG
Fuck you, LONNIE! I’m sick of you coming in here and getting special treatment.
LONNIE
No, fuck you, Craig. If you want some special treatment why don’t you play something and get your name on that wall? Besides, we ordered before you and you know it. Stop coming in here trying to make everyone else miserable just because you hate your wife.
CRAIG
Whatever, man.
LONNIE shifts his focus back to CLIFF.
LONNIE
Rule number 2, is to never take shit from anyone. Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself. As you grow as a band, there are going to be a lot of people trying to break your balls. Protect your balls at all cost. I’m talking about going to your nearest sporting goods store, finding the catchers cup section, and trying a few on until you find the perfect fit. Metal ones too, none of this hard-plastic shit.
CLIFF
I’m sorry, are you being literal right now?