Reflective Essay On Conflict

Conflict happens every day, everywhere, and with everyone. It is a process that people can try to avoid, but no matter what it will find its way into their life. There are many different approaches to handling conflict such as accommodation, competition, collaboration, compromise, and avoidance. Each person has their own way of dealing with conflicts that arise in their lives, and no one way is inherently correct. I, personally, practice a more indirect way of dealing with conflict, which seems to work with my personality. The individuals I interviewed have two very different relationships with me, which allow me to understand how I handle conflict in a more complete manner. Growing up, I was always the youngest, smallest kid in my grade. …show more content…
Ever since I started playing sports, my Dad has been extremely hard on me. He would yell at me during and after my games, which would usually bring me to tears. I learned very quickly that using tactics such as topic shifting and topic avoidance could prevent some of the conflict. There was one instance after one of my soccer games in middle school where I used both of these to prevent the onslaught of cussing and demoralization. Our team had lost the game and I could see in my Dad’s eyes what was coming in the car ride home. As soon as we got in the car I asked my Dad about what he wanted for Father’s Day in hopes of avoiding the topic of sports all together. He responded with his usual request of socks, which made me laugh. Things were looking up until he tried to casually bring up the Atlanta Braves game from the previous night. I knew that if we kept talking about sports the conversation would eventually lead to the game I had just finished. I responded by saying I was happy they won, but then shifted the topic to where he wanted to go on our next vacation. We ended up talking about different beaches we wanted to visit until we arrived at home, where I immediately went straight up to shower and watch TV. Avoidance is a style I mainly use around my Dad, because I understand the consequence of attacking a conflict head on with him. I …show more content…
The book states clear steps for evaluating a situation and coming up with the best solutions for it. “…combine the best parts of the various suggestions to come up with an agreeable solution”. This highlights the fact that compromise is not about finding one solution to a particular problem. Compromise allows everyone involved in the conflict to come together to create multiple solutions in order to find out what will benefit everyone the most. Proposing multiple solutions increases the likelihood that one person will not give up any more than the next. There are also some disadvantages to this style. Not everyone likes to give things up for the greater good of the group or the relationship. It is sometimes hard to convince people that reaching a compromise will positively impact the interpersonal relationship even though people are giving something up. Avoidance on the other hand has a much smaller upside. The obvious advantage is that the conflict is avoided, which was the goal in the first place. It is also an easy style to use because you can use anything in your environment to switch the subject. Disadvantages to avoidance are much greater in my eyes. The conflict that you just avoided is not resolved by using this method, but instead is just pushed back to be confronted at a later date. Reflect and Relate states another big disadvantage, which is pseudo-conflict. “Pseudo-conflict is