My family is not very accepting of deviating from the norm. I have always been expected to go to college, get a job, help around the house, and especially expected to save face. Transferring to University of California, Sacramento was not easy because life smacked me in the face. I was working, going to school full time, and two foster boys were introduced to my life. My mom stresses a lot and I do my best to be as present as possible to help with any and everything she needs. However, this put stress on me, but I did my best not to show it. I started to experience a feeling of hopelessness, emptiness, fatigue, mood swings, and thoughts of suicide. I missed multiple days of class due to persistent crying about who knows what because I didn’t.
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She crumbled up my paper through everything off the bed and just held me telling me that everything was going to be okay. At that moment, I knew I needed to seek help from a professional whether my mom believed it to be normal or not. Then, I had to experience going to therapy and coming home to my mom, “how did therapy go crazy?” My mom does not like to admit when things are going wrong, even when she needs help herself because she sees it as a weakness. However, I started to see it as a strength. I got the power to get up, go to counseling, work on myself and not give up. I am in a helping field because I love to help people, I do not do so well when the roles are switched. So I stopped going to therapy after a semester because I did not like to always talk about myself, but through the sessions I began to notice what my ticks were and what was causing me pain in my life. At that moment, I decided to work on myself and implement self care in my life as my counselor said I should. Sometimes I still want to give up and some weeks are harder than others but I took this experience reflected on it, grew from it, and am still working toward making myself a better
She crumbled up my paper through everything off the bed and just held me telling me that everything was going to be okay. At that moment, I knew I needed to seek help from a professional whether my mom believed it to be normal or not. Then, I had to experience going to therapy and coming home to my mom, “how did therapy go crazy?” My mom does not like to admit when things are going wrong, even when she needs help herself because she sees it as a weakness. However, I started to see it as a strength. I got the power to get up, go to counseling, work on myself and not give up. I am in a helping field because I love to help people, I do not do so well when the roles are switched. So I stopped going to therapy after a semester because I did not like to always talk about myself, but through the sessions I began to notice what my ticks were and what was causing me pain in my life. At that moment, I decided to work on myself and implement self care in my life as my counselor said I should. Sometimes I still want to give up and some weeks are harder than others but I took this experience reflected on it, grew from it, and am still working toward making myself a better