Considering the descriptions of personality and character organization by McWilliams (2011) and exploring my view of self, others, and the world, along with core beliefs, I believe that my character style is Masochistic. According to McWilliams core experiences of the masochistic self is that of being “unworthy, guilty, rejectable, deserving of punishment” (p. 277). Meanwhile, these fears are not always at the conscious level, as I am making the assumption that I am at the character style end of the continuing, nevertheless, these painful emotions are frequently familiar. Taking rejection for example, most people to not make the assumption that if someone does not like them, it is because they have done something wrong, are unworthy, or rejectable.
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An association of attached and pain is inevitable under these circumstances” (pp. 275-276). I had discussed under the section on attachment that as a child, I would often “forget” incredibly quick when my parents would physically punish me, and within minutes would go and sit on their lap. Meanwhile, I saw that as a positive personality trait, as my parents often would talk how quick I was to forgive. Reading this statement in McWilliams reflected an additional reality. My parents would tell stories how often my sisters would blame their mischievous behaviors on me to avoid punishment. Parents honestly admitted during later childhood years, after they stopped to physically punish us, that when we were younger, they would often suspect that I was not the one at fault, but I would still be the one to receive most punishment because I would “get over it so quickly” and forgive them, meanwhile my sisters would not to them for hours. Within the same paragraph, McWilliams added “children crave relationship even more than physical safety” (p. 276). Until rereading this chapter in preparation for the self-assessment, I saw the behavior as an indication of my personality style, not related in any way to my parents’ response, however, knowing that my parents are not affectionate, but having to physically punish me, especially when they at times suspected I was not at fault, made them to feel guilty. Therefore, from my vague memories, and some of the stories heard, they would respond to the affection I would show them. As McWilliams (2011) indicates, pain and relationship became intertwined, and I learned that enduring the pain was worth it because I gained
An association of attached and pain is inevitable under these circumstances” (pp. 275-276). I had discussed under the section on attachment that as a child, I would often “forget” incredibly quick when my parents would physically punish me, and within minutes would go and sit on their lap. Meanwhile, I saw that as a positive personality trait, as my parents often would talk how quick I was to forgive. Reading this statement in McWilliams reflected an additional reality. My parents would tell stories how often my sisters would blame their mischievous behaviors on me to avoid punishment. Parents honestly admitted during later childhood years, after they stopped to physically punish us, that when we were younger, they would often suspect that I was not the one at fault, but I would still be the one to receive most punishment because I would “get over it so quickly” and forgive them, meanwhile my sisters would not to them for hours. Within the same paragraph, McWilliams added “children crave relationship even more than physical safety” (p. 276). Until rereading this chapter in preparation for the self-assessment, I saw the behavior as an indication of my personality style, not related in any way to my parents’ response, however, knowing that my parents are not affectionate, but having to physically punish me, especially when they at times suspected I was not at fault, made them to feel guilty. Therefore, from my vague memories, and some of the stories heard, they would respond to the affection I would show them. As McWilliams (2011) indicates, pain and relationship became intertwined, and I learned that enduring the pain was worth it because I gained