Depression Monologue

They never teach about how to deal with depression. It just sorts of hits you. When I briskly walked into my grandparents’ house I expected to see my family at work round the conference-like table, thrashing out some sort of business deal. Instead I was met by dreary-eyed zombies, an eerie silence awash. “God it’s like a Samaritans tea party in here,” I sneered. At that moment my grandfather stumbled in. The normal sharp suit and tie had been replaced with a set of ragged pyjamas. He look gloom, morose, dejected. “Right, what’s on the agenda today?” I asked my PA, or grandma as others know her. “Nothing,” she mumbled. I instantly replied, “Has someone died? Has a business deal-““Cameron step outside please,” my father interrupted. We stepped …show more content…
It isn’t a quick blow which sends you flying. It is a lengthy process, which slowly drains the life out of you and your peers. After my grandfather was diagnosed with depression, what you seen was the destruction of the Findlay family. First, we saw three out of four siblings move abroad. One moved to Dubai, another set up a business in Australia and the final nail in the coffin was when my uncle immigrated to Switzerland. The boardroom of Findlay Haulage, formerly the lifeblood of Findlay HQ, was now left with the stench of idleness. Now, the only management of the business was a depressed pensioner and a mechanic. It didn’t end well. After a drawn-out period where clients left and workers were released, Findlay Haulage closed for business. It turns out that Findlay Haulage was up to its eyes in debt. And when the debt tsunami hit us, we were swept away like a dingy in high-tide. We ended up selling land, land which had been in the Findlay name for generations. And throughout all the turmoil it felt like my grandfather wasn’t really interested. The Findlay family was …show more content…
While he slipped into his depression filled abyss, I drove on with my power fuelled vengeance trip. The once kind, generous young child that I was had turned into an arrogant, selfish, power-hungry monster. My grandfather was no longer my idol, being replaced with corrupt figures such as Gordon Gekko. My feelings were soon replaced with self-interest, my heart turning to stone. All I seemed to care about was money and power, to such an extent that my relationship with the whole family became deeply strained. Without knowing it, I had fell into a deep hole of my own. I had become a self-obsessed, uncaring, loathsome monster that I didn’t even know. Underneath the rough exterior was the same kind, generous young child watching on in horror. I deeply wanted to change. I wanted not to view my family as a money opportunity. I wanted not to view my friends as things that could be used. I wanted not to view the world itself as something that needed to be defeated. The old Cameron Findlay desperately wanted to break out, and help get me back on track again. To this very day he remains in the background, screaming to be