One of the strengths of this script is the character of Dani. She’s well crafted as a very complex woman. She presents with a very tough exterior that’s abrasive. In fact, initially it’s challenging to like or care about Dani because of her reckless behavior and her snarky attitude. However, what’s so skillfully done is that slowly the audience not only comes to care about Dani, but they come to adore her.
The story is driven more by Dani’s inner goal of …show more content…
Right now, this call gets lost in the paragraph.
Thus, craft a more compelling story in the first half (Dani/Terry/Jake) and then at the midpoint the reveal about her brother will have a more profound impact on the audience. It helps explain her abrasive attitude.
Consider giving Dani a stronger “all is lost” moment. This is when she feels she has lost everything – Terry, Jake, maybe Jo, Phil, and her parent. Most of all, she’s lost her self-respect. This normally comes at the end of the second act. Perhaps she thinks about hurting or killing herself, just like her brother, but then she gains insight into her behavior and with new energy she confronts her inner struggle. Make sure the final “piece” they perform in class contains strong subtext about her life and …show more content…
The Jake moment with him bursting into the train station, like an old-fashioned, classic romantic movie contains wit and shows her transformation. However, if the script is revised to have a serious romance with Terry (or another character), make sure to also resolve this.
As mentioned, Dani is a very complex character. She has a strong range of emotion and she’s the type of character that has the potential to attract talent. She has great inner conflict about her brother. She feels guilty and she numbs her pain with drinking and self-destructive behaviors.
She can’t commit to anyone or anything. She has a fear of abandonment. The idea of her having a degree in “communications” is cleverly ironic.
She keeps “running” away from her problems, as well symbolized when she just begins to run. She takes acting classes so that she doesn’t have to be herself. It’s all nicely done in subtext. At the end, she has to learn to forgive herself and her brother.
Terry is an intriguing character and one wants to know more about him. He challenges Dani and complements her. That’s why a possible romance could occur, or at least, the idea that Dani develops feelings for him.
Jo is likable as her friend. They feel like authentic friends. Phil is protective of Dani, but he doesn’t really add a lot to the