Love it or hate it, it won't ever go away. No, not the angst of those extra 10 pounds; what I'm talking about is conflict. The fact is that as long as we are alive and breathing it will be there, often when we least expect it and especially when we don't want it. It is as natural to relationships as caring. In fact, if you really understand the essence of conflict, it is actually good for you.....at least when you look back at what you learned from it.
Even genie's who pop out of bottles know they can't dissolve the tension of disputes and annoyances. Take for example; the man who rubbed a magic lamp and this big old genie appeared. He told the man he would be honored to fulfill any wish.
The man thought about what he really, really wanted. …show more content…
There's lots of buzz about being accountable for your own behavior. It is important to know that your behavior does not exist independently of others. You are part of a system of relationships and if someone pushes your buttons, guess what; you're pushing theirs also. So take the plunge to be authentic, to talk about the part YOU play in the festering conflict. You become a true leader, opening the door for real and lasting relationship change.
Take charge and make it safe for others to speak their minds. "Why should I be the one?" you ask. Because you are the one reading this article, and therefore the one who wants to benefit from healthier relationships with less conflict. So, go for it! Learn to ask questions, lots and lots of questions rather than come into a dispute with a list of wrongs to be righted. How to ask questions, you ask? Make them open ended, starting with how, when, where what, and why. Here is the most important part. Once you ask a question you need to simply be quiet and give the other person a chance to …show more content…
They are the same patterns we learned in our original organization, the family. Take some time and decide which ones (there are usually two or three) that belong to you. You will also begin to see which ones drive you wild and cause you to react in ways that start ugly arguments. Here is the list: super achiever, rebel, persecutor, clown, persecutor, victim, rescuer, drama queen or king, martyr, pleaser, avoider, denier and
Even genie's who pop out of bottles know they can't dissolve the tension of disputes and annoyances. Take for example; the man who rubbed a magic lamp and this big old genie appeared. He told the man he would be honored to fulfill any wish.
The man thought about what he really, really wanted. …show more content…
There's lots of buzz about being accountable for your own behavior. It is important to know that your behavior does not exist independently of others. You are part of a system of relationships and if someone pushes your buttons, guess what; you're pushing theirs also. So take the plunge to be authentic, to talk about the part YOU play in the festering conflict. You become a true leader, opening the door for real and lasting relationship change.
Take charge and make it safe for others to speak their minds. "Why should I be the one?" you ask. Because you are the one reading this article, and therefore the one who wants to benefit from healthier relationships with less conflict. So, go for it! Learn to ask questions, lots and lots of questions rather than come into a dispute with a list of wrongs to be righted. How to ask questions, you ask? Make them open ended, starting with how, when, where what, and why. Here is the most important part. Once you ask a question you need to simply be quiet and give the other person a chance to …show more content…
They are the same patterns we learned in our original organization, the family. Take some time and decide which ones (there are usually two or three) that belong to you. You will also begin to see which ones drive you wild and cause you to react in ways that start ugly arguments. Here is the list: super achiever, rebel, persecutor, clown, persecutor, victim, rescuer, drama queen or king, martyr, pleaser, avoider, denier and