Introduction:
• Tense o Original:
Once she was put into a situation where she could lose her life, the grandmother sees the error of her ways and becomes a new woman. o Correction:
Once she is put into a situation where she could lose her life, the grandmother sees the error of her ways and becomes a new woman. o Reason:
The tense wasn’t the same through the sentence. I needed a consistent tense through-out.
First Body Paragraph
• When works better for meaning instead of by o Original:
The grandmother comes across as demanding and pushy by trying to change her son’s mind on where to go for vacation. o Correction:
The grandmother comes across as demanding and pushy when trying to change her son’s mind on where to go for vacation. o Reason:
Using when …show more content…
She makes the statement, “You’ve got good blood! I know you wouldn’t shoot a lady” (370).
I feel as though I did give an example in this section to show the effort of the grandmother.
• Tense, rephrase for more formality, and a comma before but. o Original:
The Misfit didn’t take too kindly to her comments but she continued to push him by saying, “I know you’re a good man. You don’t look a bit like you have common blood. I know you must come from good people” (368). o Correction:
The Misfit is not taking her comments to heart, but she continues to push him by saying, “I know you’re a good man. You don’t look a bit like you have common blood. I know you must come from good people” (368). o Reason: I had different tenses in the sentence. I need to have the same tense through-out the sentence and paper. My formality was more for a high school paper and needed to be corrected to be suitable for a college paper. I comma is often placed in front of a FANBOY.
Conclusion
• Comma
o
• Tense o Original:
Once she was put into a situation where she could lose her life, the grandmother sees the error of her ways and becomes a new woman. o Correction:
Once she is put into a situation where she could lose her life, the grandmother sees the error of her ways and becomes a new woman. o Reason:
The tense wasn’t the same through the sentence. I needed a consistent tense through-out.
First Body Paragraph
• When works better for meaning instead of by o Original:
The grandmother comes across as demanding and pushy by trying to change her son’s mind on where to go for vacation. o Correction:
The grandmother comes across as demanding and pushy when trying to change her son’s mind on where to go for vacation. o Reason:
Using when …show more content…
She makes the statement, “You’ve got good blood! I know you wouldn’t shoot a lady” (370).
I feel as though I did give an example in this section to show the effort of the grandmother.
• Tense, rephrase for more formality, and a comma before but. o Original:
The Misfit didn’t take too kindly to her comments but she continued to push him by saying, “I know you’re a good man. You don’t look a bit like you have common blood. I know you must come from good people” (368). o Correction:
The Misfit is not taking her comments to heart, but she continues to push him by saying, “I know you’re a good man. You don’t look a bit like you have common blood. I know you must come from good people” (368). o Reason: I had different tenses in the sentence. I need to have the same tense through-out the sentence and paper. My formality was more for a high school paper and needed to be corrected to be suitable for a college paper. I comma is often placed in front of a FANBOY.
Conclusion
• Comma
o