Deborah Tannen Gender Differences

Paper 2: Gender Differences According to Deborah Tannen there are differing motives for talk between men and women. Men communicate to preserve independence, renegotiate, or maintain status in a hierarchy. Women communicate to establish and maintain rapport, connection, and relationship. The likely result of these differences is dialectical tension between a man’s need for status and a woman’s need for connection. The following are some differences between “rapport” talk (private speaking), and “report” talk (public speaking), and the resulting dialectical tensions. Whereas men may talk longer and more often in public, Tannen contends that women talk more in private conversations. Public conversations allow for men to use language competitively. …show more content…
For example, men often adopt a lecture style when speaking. They command attention and convey information this way. Any interruption is often viewed as a power move. Unlike men, women interrupt to show attentiveness. Conflict is considered a threat to connection. Their need to avoid negative outcomes causes women to be more aware of both verbal and non-verbal cues. Tannen finds that women feel that “being close means being able to talk freely. And being with relative strangers’ means having to watch what they say and do.” The opposite seems to be true of men. This observation leads one to see how differences in rapport talk and report talk can cause conflict between the …show more content…
If men are in charge, that would imply that men must follow certain cultural expectations of power. They must be the provider, competitive, unwavering, strong, etc. On the other hand, women are expected to be nurturers, docile, unquestioning, etc. Sometimes these behaviors have negative consequences. Perhaps the most concerning aspect of patriarchy is the reality that both the man and woman in the relationship have provided a pathway for poor mental health. Loss of voice can cause women to lose themselves. Women may find themselves in a bind when the man is no longer in the equation. The harsh realities of life might come crashing down. She may not understand her financial circumstances. Entering the workforce could be overwhelming and questions about who she is may arise. This might also pose some negative effects for the man in the relationship. Inability to release control can lead to negative outcomes, such as physical and mental abuse. If he cannot provide adequately, self-esteem can suffer. Decisions that could be harmful to the relationship might be made. These are only a few of my thoughts regarding negative effects, but there are certainly many more. “Gender “differences” become “deficiencies” when one gender is systematically, but arbitrarily favored over the other.” (Coffman, chat 10/13/15) Though this is a feminist contention, both women and men have experienced some form of marginalization.