Death In My Life Essay

Death is one of life’s most difficult experiences to endure because everyone experiences death differently. When a loved one dies the grieving process often encompasses the survivors’ entire world and affects their emotional, cognitive, spiritual, and physical aspects of life. In my life I have experienced several deaths my grandparents, friends, a cousin, but the death that has greatly affected my life is the death of my brother, Allen.
Throughout my life my brother was my protector, role model, and my best friend. Although we were nine years apart he never acted like I was unimportant to him. When I was nine he enlisted into the Army and had to leave for boot camp for seven months. At this time I was very sad but he was able to call home …show more content…
I thought no you have made a huge mistake and he is still coming home. As I walked through the threshold of my class, down the concrete steps, out the squeaky door, to the hallway where my mother was standing at the end with mascara running down her face and my little sister in her arms, I was in complete denial. I reach my mother and I remember asking her why are you crying Allen is not dead they are lying to you. She looked at me then up to the counselor then back at me and screamed at me that I needed to act right and that this was not a joke. I started to cry and she grabbed my arm and rushed me through the front doors of the school. I remember as we walked through the parking lot she was talking exceptionally fast and cussing under her breathe. When we got to the car she put my little sister down and told me to strap her into her car seat. She then grabbed the keys to unlock the car and dropped them because she was shaking so bad and she dropped to her knees and began to sob into her handbag. My sister and I walked over to her and comforted her until she gained enough energy to stand again. When we arrived at our house the entire family was there. Everyone had heard the news and when we walked through the front door my brother’s biological mother, Robin, was on the floor shouting for him to come back to her. I looked at my mother and she calmly walked over to …show more content…
That morning I was woke up by my little sister screaming because my mother was pulling her hair trying to get her ready. I walked out into the living room and took the brush from my mother’s hands and I picked up my little sister, turned on cartoons for her, and finished getting her ready. I do not even remember getting myself ready or the drive to the funeral which was held in a Catholic church. I do remember arriving there and seeing people who I did not recognize which made me angry because I thought people who did not know Allen showed up to his funeral. I walked into the main room of the church and at the end of the room was my brother’s casket. I immediately walked back outside because if I did not see Allen then in a way he was still alive. However, the world is cruel and I was forced to sit up front with my parents, his parents (minus our father), and our other siblings. I sat there and while everyone talked about how wonderful my brother was and the man they had known. Then my turn came and I walked up to the front and right before I reached the podium I caught a glimpse of my brother’s face. I stopped and turned to him and just stared at him it did not even look like him. I walked over to get a closer look and I remember thinking he was breathing and I laid my hand on his chest to feel for any movement. At this time the reality of the situation hit me like a