Sometimes, if Eddie really focused and thought long and hard, he could remember a time he was happy. It was harder than he thought it had any right to be and the memories were hard to work out, often fuzzy around the edges or hard to see, like a VHS tape that had been run too many times. There were only a few memories there, filled with an outline of the same boy, of wild black hair and a loud voice that he knew but couldn’t quite put a name too, but thinking of him still sent his heart racing. How he could have loved someone as much as he knew he had and have forgotten them was beyond him, but there he was. Often times thinking back on them made him feel bad, either for the boy he had left, for himself, or for Myra, who he knew tried in
…show more content…
Faces were unseeable and voices were distorted but the feelings were there, though tinged with longing and almost hopelessness. He tried not to dwell on them but dwelling on a past he couldn’t remember seemed to be a specialty of his. Maybe things were better forgotten though. For as much as he wanted to remember, the crackling voice through the telephone saying, “It’s Mike- Mike Hanlon,” cut that want off. The fear came back, like ice in his veins, freezing him to the spot on the telephone even as he heard Myra calling out asking who it was, and what was going on. He heard himself agree to return to Derry, agree to fight It, whatever It was, and the foggy memories got a bit clearer. He could see the face of a boy, only one at the moment, taller than all of them, quiet and strong and he knew Mike more than he knew himself at that …show more content…
There were still gaps, people he knew existed but he couldn’t quite remember, like the girl that had wrote on his cast, and her father at the pharmacy, his teachers handing out grade cards and talk of Stan’s Bar Mitzvah and the same voice, “The rabbi’s going to pull down his pants and shout, ‘Where’s the penis?’” and where it should have been overwhelming, more than anything it was comforting. Having the static fade away into more than just shapes and sounds, but to see the vividness that things had been at thirteen and feel the truth that he had once meant something to someone. Myra and Sonia would always say they were the only ones who could love him but people had. Six people had. How could he have
Faces were unseeable and voices were distorted but the feelings were there, though tinged with longing and almost hopelessness. He tried not to dwell on them but dwelling on a past he couldn’t remember seemed to be a specialty of his. Maybe things were better forgotten though. For as much as he wanted to remember, the crackling voice through the telephone saying, “It’s Mike- Mike Hanlon,” cut that want off. The fear came back, like ice in his veins, freezing him to the spot on the telephone even as he heard Myra calling out asking who it was, and what was going on. He heard himself agree to return to Derry, agree to fight It, whatever It was, and the foggy memories got a bit clearer. He could see the face of a boy, only one at the moment, taller than all of them, quiet and strong and he knew Mike more than he knew himself at that …show more content…
There were still gaps, people he knew existed but he couldn’t quite remember, like the girl that had wrote on his cast, and her father at the pharmacy, his teachers handing out grade cards and talk of Stan’s Bar Mitzvah and the same voice, “The rabbi’s going to pull down his pants and shout, ‘Where’s the penis?’” and where it should have been overwhelming, more than anything it was comforting. Having the static fade away into more than just shapes and sounds, but to see the vividness that things had been at thirteen and feel the truth that he had once meant something to someone. Myra and Sonia would always say they were the only ones who could love him but people had. Six people had. How could he have