The 1989 romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally, follows two characters over the course of 10 years who grapple with the central question, “Can men and women ever just be friends?” The pair is at odds with each other while Sally believes it is possible for men and women to be friends and Harry believes sexual attraction always interferes with cross-sex friendships. This question becomes more difficult to answer as Harry and Sally’s bond becomes closer and they are confused on the nature of their own relationship to one another—are they friends or is there something more between them? This film can be applied to the concepts of cross-sex friendships, self-disclosure, and deescalating relationships while also taking into consideration verbal,
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The couple finally had sex; however, it was clear that it was satisfying for Sally as she was smiling and kissing him, while Harry, on the other hand, had a blank stare. As mentioned in the text, “Relational de-escalation is the movement that occurs when a relationship decreases in intimacy or comes to an end” (266). Their relationship briefly ended after they claimed the sex was a mistake and it was too awkward to bear anymore. Harry claims it was uncomfortable because “with Sally and me, we 've already heard each other 's stories, so once we went to bed, we didn 't know what we were suppose to do, you know?” Despite being uncomfortable, Harry did not want to lose Sally from his life. At their friend’s wedding, he asked Sally, “Why can 't we get past this? I mean, are we going to carry this thing around forever?” He leaves her multiple messages that get ignored by sally. Sally is essentially stonewalling, withdrawing by not responding to him (301). In this case, there was a unilateral dissolution in which one party wanted the relationship to continue but the other one did not and has to be persuaded to stay together (303). The couple had reached the stage of deintensification due to their decrease in interactions and increase in their physical, emotional, and psychological distance (266). It can also be argued that they were moving closer to individualization as Sally was …show more content…
The film touched on the nature of cross-sex friendships, self-disclosure as a means of creating intimacy, and the relational escalation and de-escalation that occurs within relationships. The film enables one to consider and evaluate their own friendships and relationships when regarding the question, can men and women be friends? Although Harry and Sally eventually get married, it is possible for men and women to be friends, it just might be challenging at first but it is up to the friends at hand to decide in what direction they would like to move their friendship. Should they increase intimacy by self-disclosing more or should they deescalate their relationships? These questions are difficult to answer as sometimes it is unclear in which path we want to take our relationships, as it was in Harry and Sally’s predicament. Nonetheless, working through these options will ultimately increase your interpersonal communication skills as you create either enduring friendships or ardor
The couple finally had sex; however, it was clear that it was satisfying for Sally as she was smiling and kissing him, while Harry, on the other hand, had a blank stare. As mentioned in the text, “Relational de-escalation is the movement that occurs when a relationship decreases in intimacy or comes to an end” (266). Their relationship briefly ended after they claimed the sex was a mistake and it was too awkward to bear anymore. Harry claims it was uncomfortable because “with Sally and me, we 've already heard each other 's stories, so once we went to bed, we didn 't know what we were suppose to do, you know?” Despite being uncomfortable, Harry did not want to lose Sally from his life. At their friend’s wedding, he asked Sally, “Why can 't we get past this? I mean, are we going to carry this thing around forever?” He leaves her multiple messages that get ignored by sally. Sally is essentially stonewalling, withdrawing by not responding to him (301). In this case, there was a unilateral dissolution in which one party wanted the relationship to continue but the other one did not and has to be persuaded to stay together (303). The couple had reached the stage of deintensification due to their decrease in interactions and increase in their physical, emotional, and psychological distance (266). It can also be argued that they were moving closer to individualization as Sally was …show more content…
The film touched on the nature of cross-sex friendships, self-disclosure as a means of creating intimacy, and the relational escalation and de-escalation that occurs within relationships. The film enables one to consider and evaluate their own friendships and relationships when regarding the question, can men and women be friends? Although Harry and Sally eventually get married, it is possible for men and women to be friends, it just might be challenging at first but it is up to the friends at hand to decide in what direction they would like to move their friendship. Should they increase intimacy by self-disclosing more or should they deescalate their relationships? These questions are difficult to answer as sometimes it is unclear in which path we want to take our relationships, as it was in Harry and Sally’s predicament. Nonetheless, working through these options will ultimately increase your interpersonal communication skills as you create either enduring friendships or ardor