Creative Writing: Go Away

Sometimes silence is loud.
Sometimes it echoes.
I rock back and forth.

“Be quite please.”

There's a ringing in my ears.

“Shut up. Go Away.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy. ”

I say these things silently as I rock back and forth.
I hear my bones creak, and my muscles ache.

It's bright even with my eyes closed.

“Body just leave me be.”

I want to not exist—just for a while, When I return I'm sure I'll be able to smile. I'll laugh and enjoy the lights and the sounds. Not now. Too much. Too much life...Not enough. Just go away. For a while. Just disappear. For a while. I worry what they'll think. If they know I'm on the brink. I dance this dangerous waltz with my mental instabilities. Too much time. Too much time. I need to stop the clock. …show more content…
“Okay. Let's start again.” I focus on the written word, I start by writing out my goals. “It's all going to be okay.” I try to believe myself when I say that “I'm okay, that it's alright to be this way.” I want to claw at my skin, sometimes I don't like what I find within. I'm rhyming again. I like words with rhythm, they're soothing to me—I hate it with the rhythm breaks. I slow down my breathing, I'm losing circulation in my feet and I can feel them getting tingly.

“I'll be okay.” I always am, eventually. On my list of goals I write “Be Happy” I try. I try to think of everything good that I have. I try to be grateful. I make a mental list. I like to put things in lists—on lists? In lists? I can't communicate. Words fall short. Sometimes I'm scared I'll get permanently stuck like this. Trapped inside my own head...

“Is it freezer or