Essay on Controlling Relationships

785 Words Sep 26th, 1999 4 Pages
Controlling Relationships

Being engaged to a controlling person sometimes causes you to lose control in every aspect of your life. Passive people like myself usually find controlling partners. Controlling people like my ex-fiancé usually find passive partners. We are "perfect" for each other. Being passive, I'm quite happy to be left alone. I sometimes don't have much to say, and I have to admit I sometimes can seem to be deaf when you try to discuss problems with me. While on the other hand a controlling person makes constant demands on their partners.
They have much to say, and they can act like they think they've been elected to tell everyone else how to live their lives. They are seldom content, and they seem to resent
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In bad relationships the two partners are often on such different wave-lengths that there is little common ground, little significant communication, and little enjoyment of each other. Remaining in a bad relationship not only causes continual stress but may even be physically harmful. An obvious harm is the physical abuse that is often a part of such relationships. In a less obvious way, however, the tensions and chemical changes caused by the constant stress can drain energy and lower resistance to physical illness. Continuing in such bad relationships can lead to unhealthily escapes such as alcohol or drug abuse and can even lead to suicide attempts. In such relationships, individuals are robbed of several essential freedoms; the freedom to be the best of themselves in the relationship, the freedom to love the other person through choice rather than through dependency, and the freedom to leave a situation that is destructive. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them. One part of them wants out but a seemingly stronger part refuses or feels helpless to take any action. It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." There are several factors that can influence your decision to remain in a bad and controlling relationship. At the most superficial level are practical considerations such as financial

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